Write Our Story
by Robin's Wife
Summary: She was a mentalist; she studied and read people's emotions. Why did a man who did not feel find him self desperate for her to read his emotions, or at least try? Was there a chance for love? Did he want her love? Did she want his love? Was she going to be hurt once again?
1. Explain A Chain Of Events

**Write The Story**

Abusive? A question I asked quite often to myself, but the question was…who was abusing who? I didn't understand sometimes; no punches were thrown but words were tossed about like gun fire. Fuck, shit, bitch, Jack-ass, ass-hole; they all have one thing in common they are words and they were all tossed about so freely.

My mother came in crying, begging me to stop something because I still had to be pulled into their relationship. I had heard of my father's temper but hadn't that changed when he'd become "A New Man" ah yes Christianity had saved him from the pits of Hell I suppose.

And yet they still yelled and while no marriage was perfect why is it that words could just be thrown about pointlessly. I had such a perfect, perfect looking home, and while life outside of my home was not wonderful life inside my home was not as perfect as it lead to be.

Sometimes at night time I'd day-dream about a different house and a different life. I'd dream about a world beyond my grounded one, one farther then the stars higher than the moon, a place where the yelling couldn't be heard.

The question was always asked sometimes straight forward and sometimes eased into the conversation. Did my parents abuse me? No. They abused each other. So in such I fully expected a relationship in that way, and I did get one.

It ended after a year, but three-hundred and sixty-five days of endless torture and bad romance was enough to make me scream. I never could understand why some woman wanted to be tied to a bed, spanked, yelled at then fucked senselessly, it was nice when a man was a little over-protective, when a man could be an alpha dog at times but yelling and hitting and sex were three words that did not belong together.

And yet they _were _put together in far too many cases, I was young and yet my sex appeal had not shot through the roof like some other twenty-two year olds. Yes I had been married at the tender age of twenty, divorced at twenty-one and I now worked as an advisor of sorts.

Oh, I'm a mentalist and I can do card tricks, yes don't I seem appealing? Well…to them I was, it felt nice to have friends. I didn't have a lot of friends when I was younger. I was a freak, I'll admit it…I was very shy, I am very shy.

And yet I still somehow bond with these people, my friends, my fellow crew mates. I was the person to go to whenever they had an issue. I kept people's problems private. However most of the time people decided to come directly to me, which is why it was a shock when letters began coming to my door.

_Dear Angel Grey, _

_I have been experiencing problems in my emotions. I don't seem to quite understand who I am when I awaken each morning. I am growing tired and weak and one female continues to swim about my sub-conscious and my want for her teases me daily. Her voice teases at my ear, I turn and she is not there. _

_Her eyes glimmer at every dark corner teasing me and daring me to come closer, to follow her. She is never at the corner; she also does not realize I am so lost in her voice when I speak to her. I do not understand my emotions towards this woman and I am being tortured by my feelings. What am I to do?_

_Sincerely, _

_Anonymous _

Was I reading a letter from the script of Dear John? I read it once, then twice and then three times before I decided to respond to it. On one hand this was all some sick joke, on the other hand this was really a guy (or a woman maybe) who was confused on his feelings, who was really genuinely confused. So, I made the logical decision to respond to it.

_Dear Anonymous, _

_How long have you known her? Do you talk to her often? Are you her good friend? To tell you the truth I felt like this before, desperately confused on my feelings towards someone, then I realized later I really didn't love their personality. _

_(My ex-hubby as Nyota called him was a real jerk, I didn't think that at first I was seventeen and felt misunderstood he tried his best to understand me, this part about my ex-husband was not going to end up in this letter, I didn't love speaking about him)_

_Be careful at first initial feelings about someone look closer at their personality find their bad points, and their good points. Would you love her at her worst?_

_Sincerely,_

_Angel Grey _

I read over the letter twice then thought about who would send me the letter and just why they wouldn't send it to me in person. Then I realized the time, and that I was late for "Girl Time" a very confusing ritual in which I was dragged to the cafeteria with Nyota and Christine and we'd discuss anything that we felt like discussing, in a more guy term, we would sit shoot the shit.

I knew better then to be late; then I'd get the same exact wink from Nyota the same giggle from Christine and the same question.

"Late because of a hot-date?" Nyota licked her lips sensually and stared me down.

Christine grinned and pulled me down to sit.

"Yep, my pillow and I had a steamy make-out session, he's a real hunk." I let the sarcasm drip from every word.

Nyota laughed and took a sip from her soda. Nyota was a pretty girl, there was no doubt on that fact, she had long deep brown hair and a pair of matching deep brown eyes that gleamed in the light. Her skin was like soft cocoa and her smile could make a man's heart melt.

Christine was her complete opposite but all the same she was an eye-pleaser. Her blonde curls fell perfectly into place no matter what; her blue eyes held nothing but compassion and kindness and on her milky skin was a confident pearly-white smile.

Yes, they were every man's deepest desire, and I was sure they knew that. After all they were both in wonderful steady relationships.

"How is everything with Kirk?" My tone was back to its normal kind one.

"Depends, physically or emotionally, but in all both are a twenty on a scale from one to ten." She answered.

"I've just got to ask, is he really as good as most girls have said?" Christine could be dirty when she wanted to be.

Yes Nyota was dating the man of every girl, human or alien like's dreams, Captain James Tiberius Kirk. That was one man I would _not _pursue a relationship with, I just wasn't crazy for a man who was proclaimed a sex God by every girl and her grandmother, I just realized how wrong that last part sounded.

I was pulled from my own personal thoughts by Nyota's laugh.

"Better. He can work a girl like an instrument and he's real picky about who's on top."

Christine laughed at that, she had her own boyfriend who I had met. He was a tall ginger that loved to treat Christine like a princess. I had still been told of the sexual pet names of royalty she proclaimed when they had sex.

Hey, from time to time I felt like the boring third wheel, Christine and Nyota were a year older than me and they had strong relationships that were bound to last. I was that pathetic friend, and I was confused as to why they were friends with me.

I loved their company as friends, I loved them like sisters but I was that lonely sister that they most likely felt bad for on Friday nights when partying with their partners was their plan and I was at home asleep, or performing some card-tricks. Nyota and Christine must have gotten annoyed from time to time.

"Hey Angie, you feeling alright?" Christine asked in a motherly tone.

I being the youngest was subjected to the motherly tone. I was also subjected to being referred to as, "The Little Sister" by Kirk, Scotty, Sulu, and Pavel, I just nodded my head.

"I'm fine Chrissy, just tired is all." I made my lie believable.

I wasn't alright, not completely at least. I felt bad from time to time, like I was dragging everyone around me down. It was kind of funny how being with my friends was supposed to put me in the best mood possible, when in reality I currently felt horrible, I was disgusted by myself and I wasn't sure why.

Even so I sat through more conversation on love, and happiness, and sex. All the while I thought to myself about who I was…why I was on board the USS Enterprise and why I had friends. I even wandered if love was an option for me.

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Author's Note: Well this is the start of my story, do you love it, hate it? Should I never write again? All questions you can answer! I hope you do like is so far though.


	2. Start With A Character Or Two

**Write Our Story: Chapter Two: Start With A Character Or Two**

_He writhed beneath the sheets his body slick with sweat; he wrestled to reach the top panting and gasping. His lungs cried out for air and his body shook slightly, he felt worn and weak though his muscles relaxed beneath the soft weight of the blanket. _

Spock had been spending quite some time wrestling with his sheets, and blankets. He was bathed in a cold sweat for reasons that were unknown to him. If he were a human the cause of this would have been raw nerves. However he was not a human, he was a Vulcan. Well, this was not fully true, he was half Vulcan and half human though he had chosen the Vulcan way long ago. Wrestling with his blanket while drenched in perspiration was not an experience he was enjoying.

The question of why he was doing this needed to be answered. He had done everything in routine. There had been nothing that had upset him through the course of the day. Nothing had been out of his routine, except for the letter.

The _letter _an odd feeling settled in his stomach. He had put the letter in a place where he had known she would have found it. There was not a single doubt in his mind that she had found it.

Sending the letter was illogical and yet he had sent the letter to her knowing the illogic in this. Illogic was something that Spock was becoming used to, as he had not been himself since the destruction of his planet and the death of his mother Amanda. Spock had not been the same…he had felt, lost.

Lost and he was not fully sure how to find his way back. He had been no stranger to sleep-less nights however this was one of his first unbearable nights. His thoughts were scattered but the one thing Spock could not help but focus on was the letter.

He had sent the letter, why? Logically, she had assisted many with their problems and subconsciously Spock did feel there was a problem arising. Though why had he not just gone to speak with her? The people she assisted were kept private as was their issues. So why had he not just gone to speak with her?

Ah yes, he recalled now, the letter was about a female, the letter in particular was about her. He was not sure how the words had flooded onto the page though they had. It was illogical to send the letter and yet he had.

Would she respond? That was something he could not answer, he was sure it was not often Miss Grey would receive letters at her door. _Miss Grey_, Spock thought of the name, before she was known as Mrs. Grayson. Wife of Andrew Grayson, however their marriage had been brief only lasting a year.

He had researched her on the data banks once. He had learned of her marriage, he had also learned her marriage was not something she favored to speak of. This was evidence the marriage was not an enjoyable one.

He did not know what did not make an enjoyable one. He also had not met her "Ex" as the captain had put it. He had heard much about him though, what he had heard was his temper. He would become angry at nearly anything; he found nearly everything said to him could be taken as an insult.

I do not understand how Miss Grey and her past husband had been married. It seems rather illogical, Miss Grey is everything her past husband was not, good-hearted, kind, calm, intelligent and elegant. She was a very graceful girl, there was no doubt of this; it was obvious that many males would have been attracted to her.

However she was not currently in a relationship of any kind. He knew because he had heard, he had not been spying though he had gained rather interesting information as he passed by the table of Lieutenant Uhura, Nurse Chapel, and Miss Grey.

If he focused he could still recall the fine scent of vanilla from Miss Grey.

"_How _are _any of your relationships, Angie?" Nyota pressed forward with excited eyes. _

"_What relationships?" Angel answered her eyes shifting over to her drink, which suddenly became very interesting. _

"_Oh come on! Don't lie to us, tell us! What's the dirt?!" Christine's grin resembled a child on the morning of Christmas. _

"_I don't have any dirt. I don't have any relationships… that flew out the window along with my husband." The word husband almost resembled a curse the way she used it. _

_Nyota blinked and Christine stared at Angie with confusion, the shock was hanging in the air like a thick fog._

"_You have a husband?" She questioned. _

"_I used to." This was the last thing said from Angel. _

_The feeling of awkwardness never quite left the hour as they continued to dine with each other. Christine wore a slightly sad expression and Nyota held onto a grimace with her eyes. Yes, marriage was not something spoken about on the Enterprise very much. _

_We were all introduced to the theory of marriage by doctor McCoy, his ex-wife Jocelyn and his daughter Joanna were a common topic. Other than this, marriage was not very common aboard the Enterprise. Why? Perhaps it was a fear of commitment; this is why the theory of a "Boyfriend" or "Girlfriend" was so comforting. A temporary mate was by far the best way to explain a boyfriend or girlfriend; temporary, easy to obtain and rather simple to discard. _

Spock could recall the look of pain that briefly crossed Miss Grey's eyes. A look of anguish and misery for only a moment, Spock was familiar with the term, "The eyes are the windows to the soul." Pain did not fit in the kind-eyed Miss Grey.

It was not right in any way. Her eyes of pain were embedded into his memory, and at every dark corner he could see her eyes. Those pleading eyes… what other misery could she have experienced?

For that one question alone Spock paid much attention to her gentle Blue-grey eyes; was it an obsession? Her eyes were permentaely imprinted into his thoughts, and this night they chose to haunt him.

It was those miserable eyes that suffocated his heard in the night like a love-sick phantom. It was those miserable eyes that kept him awake and staring into a dark cold abyss. It was those miserable eyes that urged him deeper into a deathly sea like a siren's intoxicating song. It was those miserable eyes that wouldn't leave Spock alone.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

Andrew Grayson was keeping me up at night once again with his excessive yelling. Even in my dreams it seemed that the tittle of Mrs. Grayson would haunt me. Tonight it seemed my Ex-husband was rocking the boat of my life so I was forced to stare into darkness. My mind was wandering to different parts of my life.

I remembered when I was thirteen and my father threatened to punch my mother in the face.

I remembered when I was twenty and Andrew threatened to punch me in the face.

I remembered when I was seven and my mother called my father an ass-hole.

I remembered when I was twenty and I called Andrew a jerk.

Can you see a pattern? I can, my life was a downward spiral and I was following my parent's path. It was sad how alike I was to them, I didn't like it at all, my parents wore a mask of fake happiness the question was, did I?

I'm not quite sure; there _were _differences between me and my parents. I, for one, had friends' good friends that really appreciated my company. I was kind to my friends, as kind as I could be. Now was I kind because I was natural a good person, or because I didn't want my friends to abandon me?

I was trying to psychoanalyze myself. Why? What was I doing? I was currently having a very "What is my life" moment. Thinking of Andrew made me feel like that quite a lot, he had that effect on me; he made me think even when I didn't want too.

I remembered when I was seventeen and Andrew took me to the circus. There were clowns in the circus…Andrew didn't like clowns. It wasn't even a special holiday and Andrew was facing his fears just to make me happy. I smiled in spite of the anger thinking of Andrew came with.

If I closed my eyes tight enough I could still taste the circus-brand chocolate fresh on my tongue…

_Dancing bears, painted crowns, a place in time that held nothing but splendor. His arm went around me and his voice, like a song heightened my senses. Applause rang out; distant voices welcomed the next performers. _

_The ring leader clad in black and purple motioned to me and a single rose appeared. With a gentle wink he placed it on my fingertips. Andrew chuckled and clapped and laid a gentle kiss on my temple. I smiled and took in the view around me, loud and excitable, fun and mysterious. _

_It reminded me of New York City, loud, and never stopping. I was wrong, New York City could stop, as could the noise here…and it did. Fire, since the dawn of man's time fire has been a true fascination, and now…fire became destruction._

_I can still recall every little girl's scream as the fire engulfed the stage, who knows what could have stared it? Who really cared, because the entire circus was destroyed, and this wonderful day of mine was burning in the flames. _

It was funny how Lady Luck could take any wonderful day and turn it into ashes…that was a bad pun, because this was no funny joke. The entire circus had burnt down to the ground. I sat up in my bed now; I wasn't getting to sleep at this point. I was at the point of no return so why not just accept it?

Rubbing my eyes I felt a little bit of sweat on my forehead, I was cold…but so was the sweat, I never sweat in my sleep, the cold sweat comes from being nervous, I don't get nervous. Maybe I was just losing it. I decided to take a walk; a walk around the ship at night should help me sleep.

I rose to my feet, my long pajama pants fell down to almost cover my feet and my tank top was crooked. I fixed it so I didn't look like I had rushed sex, I fixed my hair a little bit too so I didn't look like I had been rolling around my bed all night trying to get to sleep even though I had been.

I don't know what possessed me, but I went to see Kirk. I guess it's because talking to someone would also help me get to sleep, and Kirk was the closest. I knocked on his door; I heard a muffled voice and a groan. Slowly the door opened a crack and a head peaked out.

"Uh, hey little sis' what's up?" His voice was nervous. I could tell.

"I just couldn't…sleep is all, and…well, you were the closest." I found myself mumbling like a small bashful child.

"…I ah well Angel, just give me…give me…five, no-four minutes!" There it was, Angel Kirk never referred to me as "Angel" something was incredibly wrong.

I found out what was wrong when a disheveled Nyota clad only in kirk's pants and bra stumbled over something on the floor.

"Babe, where's my shirt?" Her head snapped to me and her eyes went wide.

We all exchanged glances and fell into a patch of silence.

"Um… you have fun." I wasn't exactly sure what to say. Kirk held a strong poker face and I just backed away and decided to talk to Scotty.

With that I left Kirk and Nyota to continue what I was sure I would hear about at the next "Girl Time." I abandoned my idea on a talk with Scotty, who knows what he was doing at these hours of the night. I wasn't prepared however to bump into Mr. Spock who usually wasn't walking around the ship in pajamas at three in the morning.

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Author's Note: Well here's a next chapter. I think it's alright, but hey It's not up to me, it's up to all of you.

Mythwriter- Thank you very much for commenting, I really appreciate it.

KennaWynters- Thank you so much! I really liked the idea of Spock asking something without really asking her. So I thought the letter format was ideal! Thank you for reviewing again.

Guest- I'm glad I helped you out…I'm not sure if this is a joke, but thank you for the review any way!

Applejax XD- Thank you very much for reviewing, to explain why I chose third person in Spock's point of view is because I feel like I can see more into Spock's mind without him holding back anything from himself to admit in the chapter. Does that make sense? Oh well, thank you again for the review!

Thank you very much to KennaWynters, buddy6o, grim assassin sherlock101,Lati08, Applejax XD, and xMidnightLilliex for putting my story on their favorites list;

Also, thank you to KennaWynters, grim assassin sherlock101, TheFelineFeral, Applejax XD, buddy6o, xMidnightLilliex, xoGabrielleox, LadyGryffindor313, and SweetInsanity89 for following my story.


	3. Have Their Path's Cross

**Write Our Story: Chapter Three: Have Their Path's Cross**

"I'm terribly sorry, I wasn't paying attention." Angel's eyes traveled up to meet the deep brown eyes of a certain first officer.

"There is no reason to apologies, the fault was mine." Spock replied.

I have a way with seeing right through people. This was not something I just told anyone…it just wasn't something good to bring up in a conversation. How often was it that your entire life story could be read by one glance?

All your secrets, your deepest desires, your hidden emotions could be completely picked apart by someone. Well I sure was fun at surprise parties wasn't I?

The point in this, I could tell by Spock's tensed posture, more tensed than normally, that he was upset. Now, I didn't believe in the path of logic, well that was a lie. I did, however I knew a Vulcan could feel just as a human could feel, just as a Romulan could feel, just as Klingon could feel, and so on.

It applied to all beings, even if no one wanted to admit it, we all had the same exact basic emotions. Happiness, Sadness, and fear; everyone was capable of feeling, even Spock. I would never tell Spock this, both the fact that he seemed nervous and the fact that he could feel. I wasn't about to embarrass him in any way.

Who knew what kind of endless torture he had endured because of his half human side? Well, I knew a little bit, I was there after all, when Spock had been burned by the intensity of pressure and had completely melted with the slightest push from Kirk.

With my thoughts swiftly turning from the current predicament I was in now, I suddenly realized Spock was still there, and was staring at me as if he was waiting for my response.

Now ever since I was a child, I didn't like it when people stared at me, if there was one thing I lacked, it was self-confidence so staring belittled me, I didn't like feeling like that at all.

"I couldn't sleep either." I decided to start a conversation, the gap of silence was unbearable and it seemed Spock wasn't in a rush to start the conversation.

Spock blinked almost like he was processing what I had said, or at least trying to remember.

"Yes…it seems we both had the idea that walking would… in human terms "Steady the nerves'." He finally said.

"Well of course, it only seemed logical Spock." I stated. Logic was one thing Spock clung too.

There it was…the all famous eye-brow raised, God if this was a television show I could picture every family member in the living room crowded around the television set breaking out in a loud roar of laughter. But this wasn't a television show, this was real life and I was quietly awaiting Spock's response.

"Would you happen to be mocking me, Miss Grey?" He asked with genuine curiosity flickered in his deep brown eyes.

I would be lying if I said he didn't have beautiful eyes, yes I could understand why a few girls, here and there had been attracted to Spock. He was handsome; there was no lie about that.

Even so, relationships and Spock were two words that were never put in a sentence together. As for the woman attracted to Spock, I knew two personally, Nyota and Christine but that was short lived.

Nyota's attraction in all honesty was purely sexual; I wouldn't act like you've never done that yourself… Nyota only wanted a taste of the first officer, anything more would be interesting, but it wasn't that she was directly interested in.

Even so it never happened; Nyota never pursued him even though I got very vivid descriptions of many wet dreams with Spock in them from Nyota. I had enough of an idea of what kind of 'Sexy beast' Spock was beneath his clothing to last an entire life time.

I decided it was high time I answer Spock back,

"No sir, Mr. Spock not in any way." It was the truth; the words just came out of my mouth in all honesty.

I don't like to toy with people, I find that incredibly cruel, I don't play hard-to-get, I don't play games point blank period. I remember playing far too many games with Andrew, nothing sexual though.

I'm a virgin, I'm not quick to bring it into a conversation but even so I'm happy my virginity didn't go to Andrew. I still do remember the games we did play though, an endless array of misery and joy.

_His lips were on my ear and he held me down onto the couch with half force, it excited me like a giddy school girl. I liked it when he kissed me, we kissed and nothing more, but fierce kisses were nice, very, very nice. _

"_Oh Little Angel." He cooed softly onto my ear._

_I caught his lips in mine and I ate at him hungrily, he returned the favor and gripped my waist tighter. He was an Alpha dog, he flexed his muscles whenever he could and sometimes it drove me crazy. _

_Well most of the time it drove me crazy, but I couldn't really remember why I was mad. I just wanted to focus on his lips, his delectable savory lips. My tongue ran over his lips and as he parted his lips my mouth was attacked by his sweet tongue, a soft little sigh broke through the kiss and I caught a faint smirk before he kissed me again._

_Oh it felt so right, he pressed my back against the wall as my fingertips knotted into his shaggy deep brown hair. He softly stroked my waist and his tongue danced with mine. Outside it thundered, the thunder sounded angry, it made me think of the fact that we had been angry before, and it seemed he was thinking the same._

_He pushed away from me and looked into my eyes. A slight snarl settled onto his lips and he put me down and looked away. I returned his snarl with a soft growl, my eyes turned hard and I swear I could feel my blood burn deep in my veins._

"_You can drop the act, acting mean and playing hard to get isn't sexy, so just fucking drop it." The word fuck had become very easy for me to say ever sense the age of twelve _

_You know there were many times when I wanted to scream, and scream and scream. My mother had told me this many times over the course of her life. Sometimes about me, and other times about my father; so was it normal to think in this way? No, it wasn't and yet at times I thought screaming would be the best._

_Now who would I be screaming at, my husband, or perhaps myself screaming into a mirror. I could do either, I chose screaming at my husband, who in my opinion loved to pick fights. Was it that daring 'Bad-boy' attitude that had drawn me to him before? _

_Was he always this arrogant? Did he always pick fights with people like this? He was a hot-head…but never in this way; I guess love really is blind. The irony stung, because I was living in this nightmare, and I was currently deprived of my every sense, it seemed I only had my voice, as I could not see, nor hear, nor touch, nor smell. All I could do was scream, and scream, and scream. _

_Are you happy mom?_

(Spock's P.O.V.)

Spock was not happy with his current standing. He was before Miss Grey as he had been returning to his room after a walk to clear his troubled thoughts. This walk however had been rather interesting as he had had found a response to his letter. His letter was presently gripped in his tightly fisted-hand. In his defense he crumpled the paper so as not to seem suspicious. "The walls have eyes" He recalled his mother explaining to him at one point in his life.

This was yet another one of the human's 'Sayings,' to describe it was rather simple, there was always someone to see the somewhat suspicious activity of another. Spock never believed he was going to be on the opposite end of the saying. Could she notice his movements? Did she see he was tense?

Spock was not perfect. He could not read emotions as well as Angel could. He was not quite sure why this was expected of him. Why would a person who did not feel do so well with reading how another person felt?

Emotions were not a two-dimensional topic. He had an understanding, but he found himself questioning if it was right since his mother died.

"I believe I will return to my quarters now, good night Mrs. Grey." Spock looked into her eyes.

Eye-contact was key; if she could tell he was nervous by his glances at the floor, he would need to stare her head on. Her blue-grey eyes cut a space in his heart and burned his brain. They were fierce, so, so very fierce. Her kind voice was soft almost like a cat's purr.

"Good night Mr. Spock." With that she was gone, she walked with her head up making sure not to brush against him; she knew he didn't like to be touched.

Spock had escaped. He had fooled the mentalist. Or had he? Did she notice anything, if she did, she did not vocalize it. There was not a chance of sleep now; he had her response in possession he wanted to tear it open, now; though his walking pace was steady just as it always was

Once he locked the door to his quarters his voice was not as steady as his walk had been.

"Computer…lights seventy percent." The lights changed at his command.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he feared someone would knock, see the lights and enter and there they would see him with the letter from Miss Grey and just what would they say?

He believed the Captain would be rather amused. He pictured a rather smug grin in the eyes of the Captain. The doctor would be disgusted, and judging by how he treated Miss Grey a threat was sure to follow. Mr. Sulu, Mr. Chekov, and Mr. Scott would all be rather interested on the nature of the letter and would question the topic of a relationship.

_A relationship_

Spock allowed the words to sink in with closed eyes. A relationship with his work associate, especially Miss Grey was not something he should consider. He did not know where her attraction lied. Perhaps it was too the doctor, he was emotional, and he possessed something that was called 'Southern Charm,' which Spock was not familiar with.

There were moments when Spock fathomed his feelings towards that of Miss Grey. What was his intent? Was it his Vulcan side that found her appealing, or was it his Human side? What was this feeling? It could be described as a craving… a craving for a woman.

Spock turned his eyes back to the letter, he read it over, and over, and over, and over and savored every word; he analyzed every word and took in the soft scent of Vanilla each time he read.

Did he really understand every word though? _Would you love her at her worst? _Her worst, did she have a worst? If so, Spock could not see it… she was kind, intelligent, and she was certainly attractive.

_First initial feelings_, Spock cringed inwardly at the usage of the word. Then another one of the problems he saw with this letter was erased from his thoughts. She did not know it was his letter. Miss Grey was an intelligent female, she would be careful with the usage of her words around him.

First initial feelings were the start of an attraction to another. Spock did not have an attraction that much was strong in his mind; he just had a simple issue, a slight one that could be fixed. She mistook what he had said for an attraction, however she was completely incorrect.

Yes there was a slight craving for Miss Grey. Though his heart was in a silver cage, one that would not be opened it was not the Vulcan way to fall in love, everything, even attraction was based on logic. There was no logic in an attraction to Miss Grey.

Though, somehow in his mind there was logic in writing a response to the letter.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

A conversation with Mr. Spock was very uncommon furthermore; a conversation not on the topic of work was very _very _uncommon. Something else that was uncommon was to see Mr. Spock tense. He seemed also nervous as we spoke, my curiosity was bubbling up in my stomach, I wanted to know just _why _Spock was nervous, and just _why _he was so nervous that it caused him to lose sleep and wander around the ship. She thought about the last words he said and how he had looked her directly in the eyes, and she had looked him directly in the eyes.

Deep brown and calculating, like dark chocolate. There was something else ironic, I hated dark chocolate and yet that's what his eyes reminded me of. I needed to stop…and think, why was my mind playing games with me? Why would I think about Spock's eyes?

I seemed to be very drawn to fatal attractions. If mine and Andrew's love was nothing but a tragedy in our marriage I still found him my remedy. I had learned to pull away from any feelings of Andrew. I could do the same with Spock, because they weren't deep feelings, there weren't even feelings at all.

I thought of Christine's attraction to Spock, she had been in love with him at some point, he hadn't noticed and she had realized she was treading in dangerous water. Actually she was swimming into a storm; loving Spock was like drinking poison. It seemed though; Spock was wonderful with taking girl's hearts and locking them in a little box.

In some ways, he was worse than Kirk. At least Kirk knew that he was a womanizer, in fact he flaunted it whenever he could. Yes, Mr. Spock was a lady-killer, and I was not about to go into the maze of Spock's heart.

But none of this really mattered did it? Because I was not attracted to Mr. Spock and Mr. Spock was not attracted to me. And Spock was not about to start liking me any time soon, I trusted the Vulcan hide of Spock was far too thick to get through.

My mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts; I realized something at this point. I was not about to get to sleep any time soon.

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**Author's Note: As you can see, I literally have nothing to do but write, so here's the next chapter, Angel and Spock having a nice awkward conversation.**

LadyGryffindor313- Thank you very much! Here's your update! I'm happy to write because you enjoy it.

TheFelineFeral- Thank you, your support really does help me!

KennaWynters- I've actually wanted that scene with Kirk and Nyota to happen for a while now! Haha, so did I for a long while when I wrote the chapter, and thank you for the review!

Thank you to crystal-roses13 for following my story; and thank you to StarlightShivers for adding my story to your favorites list.


	4. Bring Up A New Point Of Interest

**Write Our Story: Chapter Four: Bring Up A New Point Of Interest**

_That boy has my heart in a golden locket. _

I was silent to the bone today. Sometimes I just wanted to observe and not have a line in the play of life. Silent roles were so simple; expression was all that mattered, how to speak without speaking. That made my life so much simpler, expression was something very easy for me to accomplish.

A simple nod, a gentle smile of acknowledgement, one moment to walk a little more gracefully to show a good day of happiness then once I was away from a prying eye, I could return back to my observations where my thoughts could run wild.

I played a daily game of Cat and Mouse with my problems when I didn't feel right. I awoke to a feeling of remorse and guilt; like death was deeply embedded into the stale air of my room. I thought back to Mr. Spock… in my own thoughts I had gotten angry at him, for no real reason.

It was quite useless to be angry at Mr. Spock, he was a brick wall. A void of emotion; or so he had everyone believe, he was half-human after all. He had feelings, just like Vulcans had them, he just repressed them.

I softly smiled at a red-shirt as he past me, his shoulders brushed mine and he kept a dashing smile on. I grimaced inwardly; my thoughts were pulling me away from my silent play.

(Random Red Shirt's P.O.V.)

_I want her so much more, because she looks the other way._

Angel Grey was haunting my thoughts, that beautiful, beautiful girl had my heart in a cage. Why couldn't she want me? One moment was all it took for me to fall head over heels again when she brushed past me.

I walked into every room prepared for her to look at me. Every time though she had her gaze controlled and her attention on her work, or on someone she was helping, or her friends. It stung, it really did. Was I really that unnoticeable?

Was I really falling into a patch of Cat and Mouse? She had my head spinning every second of every day, she was so close, and then she was far, far, far, away from me. Why couldn't she want me?

There were times when I really hated the first officer, Mr. Spock. Like now, when I bumped into him and knocked all of his papers and my papers onto the ground.

"Mr. Grace, I believe it is best to walk with your head up and pay attention to your surroundings; so that something of this nature does not happen." There was that dam deep voice.

"Sorry Mr. Spock, I didn't notice you." I grumbled the words quietly.

Why did Karma hate me so much? First of all I was craving a girl I would never get, second of all I was somehow always near Spock, and somehow, _always_, I automatically did something wrong.

"Obviously you did not, and if you are planning on getting to the bridge before your work shift, I find it best to hurry." He had already gathered his papers and that fucking ass-hole was gone.

I felt nothing but hate towards him, nothing but simple hate, complete and utter disgust towards him. He was so, dam, _annoying_; I snarled once he was gone and kept walking once he had left.

I continued on my way to the bridge, I have to say that little encounter with Spock really fucked up my mood after that. He could just piss me off that much and withdrawal my good attitude that I was trying to save for everyone else, and especially for Angel.

Well that was fucking selfish wasn't it? He just wanted to steal all my fucks for himself; the jerk. Upon entering the bridge all was as it always was, nothing ever really changed.

Pavel Chekov, our navigator, or with that thick as hell accent as he would say 'Nawigator' was calmly going through the motions of his job and was having a quiet conversation with our Helmsman Hikaru Sulu. When I entered Pavel turned for a second smiled and kept talking.

I didn't smile back, one because I was in a bad mood and two because he turned away too quickly before I could. I just continued on my way to Captain Kirk; then I saw the familiar windblown hair of a certain mentalist. And with that, I was gone… completely gone. Oh she had me around her little finger and she didn't even know it.

"Mr. Grace…Mr. _Grace…_Mr. GRACE." Captain Kirk eventually yelled to get my attention.

I blinked and looked at him, "Huh? Oh um…can you just, sign off this…report, for me, uh…please?"

Most of the bridge just stared in my direction thinking God knows what about me. All of them except for Angel, she didn't even glance in my direction.

It was going to be a long, long, day.

(Spock's P.O.V.)

Mr. Grace was yet again late to where he was going. He was late yet again because his thoughts were taking him far away from what he was doing. Yet again he collided with me in the hallway. Shortly after our encounter he journeyed into the bridge where he was distracted for a moment by something.

Something I am not sure of, however it was enough to make the Captain raise his voice to get his attention. If Mr. Grace was not careful, he may come to be in much trouble because of his day dreaming.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

My thoughts were too far off to pay attention, to who Kirk was talking too, but it seemed no one else but I was too busy to look. I glanced from the corner of my eye and I saw Mr. Grace. However I did realize even Spock had stopped his work to see just what was unfolding.

Everything ended however with Mr. Grace silently leaving. I thought for a second and remembered brushing against a certain red-shirt. The certain red-shirt was Mr. Grace, I remembered his dashing smile.

Mr. Grace was a very good man. He was kind and gentle and rather caring. I bumped into him every so often but I had never come up close and personal with him. He never asked, this didn't mean he didn't have any problems though…it just meant he didn't want to share them with me.

I could understand wanting to keep problems to yourself. I remembered fighting, and yelling and threatening to see who would scream the loudest, and who would fold under the pressure.

I felt a hand go against my shoulder.

"Hey little sis' um…I'm sorry, about last night…is everything…okay?" Kirk's apology was a gentle murmur.

I nodded and decided to break my word fast for now.

"I'm fine, and don't apologize, I can understand."

Actually I couldn't, I had never been in the predicament Kirk was in, and in all honesty I never wanted to be.

"No, no really, I feel bad… so I got you a gift." Kirk gave me a cheeky grin and from behind his back he gave me a heart-shaped box of chocolate.

Chocolate, like dark chocolate, like Mr. Spock's eyes, like Mr. Spock who glanced at Kirk and I and then proceeded to continue his work.

"What Kirk? Is she your Valentine?" From her station Nyota gave her own sensual smile.

Kirk's cheeky grin and her sensual smile were so similar it was simple to confuse the two sometimes.

"Why, do you want to get rid of me that badly?" Kirk jabbed softly with a smug smile.

Nyota rolled her eyes and turned back to her work. I looked down at the box of chocolate, and for some reason, all I could think of was Mr. Spock. The alien first officer was beginning to take over my thoughts.

I didn't like it, because I didn't like him like that at all. Even so, I smiled at the chocolate in spite of myself.

"Thank you Kirk, I feel so special." My voice was kind.

Kirk's grinned widened just as his ego inflated. However he couldn't make a sly remark because of an interruption from Mr. Scott.

"Captain, we have one for beam up, he'll be up here shortly."

"Thanks Scotty, we'll be there soon." Kirk replied.

We had a mystery guest coming aboard the Enterprise. I had heard nothing about this and by the look from Mr. Spock and Nyota, they hadn't heard at thing about this either.

"Well don't just stand there, let's welcome the man aboard!" Kirk got a sly grin and started walking.

Like his little ducklings, we followed behind him in a neat row, first Mr. Spock, then me, and finally Nyota.

"I didn't hear a thing about this, what the Hell." Nyota's voice was on my ear and her hand was on my shoulder.

"I'm not sure… I wasn't told anything either." I responded.

By the time we got there a fairly annoyed Dr. McCoy or as we affectionately called him, Bones was leaning against the wall with his arms across his chest. He didn't like to be inconvenienced; in fact he didn't like to be bothered.

His cynical attitude was a nice mask, because no one would expect that deep down the good doctor had a kind and caring heart. In a way he was the mother hen of the ship.

Kirk stood to the right of Bones. Nyota stood next to Bones and I, the little sister was the last one in the line of my friends. We all waited as atoms arranged and a man's form took shape before us. I watched on until two deep and dark emerald eyes settled onto me.

(Mystery Guest's P.O.V.)

I'm tired. When I'm tired I'm not in the best of moods, however I was forced to get up at 6:00 O'clock in the morning bright and early to prepare for coming aboard one of the best ships Star Fleet had to offer. Ah yes, the Enterprise serial number NCC-1701 was beautiful.

However I didn't really care enough to take time to stare at its apparent perfection. Which was rather ironic because I'm an engineer, in fact I'm being welcomed aboard the Enterprise to assist their Chief engineer Montgomery Scott.

Well people don't seem to understand that I don't play well with others. I'm a lone wolf and I prefer to keep it that way. I like working alone, all I can honestly say is that I can find the bad in people very easily, it's a gift.

I'm not _always _in this bad of a mood. Sometimes I get up at three in the afternoon and I eat breakfast in bed, masturbate a little, watch some porn, and I'm happy. I become a typical guy, and pretty much say fuck you to the world and live.

As much as I'd love it if there was a job like that, there isn't. So every day I pry myself out of bed at a 'reasonable' hour, I shower, I brush my teeth, I shave, I comb my hair, I get dressed and I'm out the door into the forever moving world.

My schedule used to be a little different though. I used to wake up a little early then the actual 'reasonable' hour, I'd pull her slender frame close to mine and I'd kiss her head and whisper little words into her ear.

Her eyelashes would flutter and she'd gaze up at me with sleepy blue-grey eyes. Ah yes it was the life, it was the married life, it was my life. It was the life I shared with my beautiful wife. I could remember lazy Saturday mornings complete with a little bit of coffee Irish-style and her in my lap as I stroked her hair.

It was nice, we never had sex and I actually liked it that way. Sex was a big commitment, a lot bigger than marriage. It was the process of giving away your body to someone and hoping they'd accept it. It wasn't that I was worried she wouldn't accept me.

It was more that I wouldn't accept her. I couldn't handle it if she got too attached to me and then the idea of breaking off the marriage would shatter her. And every guy knows that after you shatter a girl, you deal with her wrath, and the wrath would motivate her to sue me for everything I got.

That was just the way girl's worked, and to be honest it pissed me off. So I got close to her, but not too close, we kissed deeply, but we didn't have sex. Things went very well, as a matter of the fact I realized she was a little different than most girls. I even contemplated having sex with her.

That made me angry… and being angry, my temper began to flare, and my anger was directed towards her because that's why I was mad, all because of her. So in a year, we broke off the marriage. I went my way, and she went hers; I was done with her. Or was I? With all the bull-shit Karma loves to throw at me, a pair of blue-grey eyes was the kick in the balls I really didn't need today.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

Anger. It was his first response; when flight or fight came into play it was always fight, it used to be fight for me as well. Now though I chose the lesser known objective… freeze. I wasn't prepared for Andrew Grayson to come aboard the ship.

I wasn't prepared for my Ex-husband to come aboard the ship and settle his gaze on me. His presence didn't feel like needles, it felt like water…like drowning in a sea of hate, and agony, and misery, and anger, and just pain, pure pain. I was drowning again, drowning in his deep emerald gaze.

"Are you fucking joking me?!" The words flowed out of his mouth quite simply.

Kirk whose hand was up to shake the new crew member's hand fell down to his side. Kirk's face twisted in some confusion and he glanced back at who he was looking at. His eyes went a little wide and without thinking he spoke.

"Do you two…know each other?"

"No shit we know each other! She's my Ex-Wife and I'm _not _working anywhere _near her_!" There it was 'Ex-Wife' a title I really didn't need the rest of the Enterprise to hear.

I didn't like to bring up Andrew, I really didn't like it. It made my blood burn the same way calling Andrew 'Andy' would make his blood burn. Part of me was a little bit agitated for some unknown reason that he didn't want to work anywhere near me. It could have been because he could be such an infant at times. It was his way, or the high way and I knew that better than anyone else.

The silence was loud in my ears, or was it my heart beat thundering loud in my ear, I didn't respond, I wasn't sure how to respond. I just wanted to observe again, to fade quietly into the background and watch and understand the confusing rituals that took place daily in a being's life.

However I couldn't just sit and watch, because Andrew wanted a response, Hell he wanted an entire argument in front of the crew. The mentalist side of me told me he wanted nothing but attention, positive or negative it didn't matter to him.

The feminine part of me told me to tell him off right in front of the crew loud enough for the Klingon Empire to hear. But logical side of me, that quiet whispering voice in the back of my mind told me to observe and search his eyes and silence myself.

It explained the pointlessness of giving into him, as usual, I listened.

"Come on Angel-Face what not going to say anything, let's go! Let's fight!" He was getting closer to me now; he wanted to back me into the wall.

I instantly thought of the deep kisses we shared on the walls, and it made me angry. I could feel it in my stomach, in my chest, and especially in my heart. The rage was burning me and the devil was dancing through my mind throwing bad thoughts into my brain.

I was ready to fight and scream and yell and yell and yell and yell. It was what he wanted and I had to sin a little to spite the devil didn't I? However I wasn't allowed to release my anger, I would have, if Andrew and I had been alone, but instead I heard the good doctor's voice.

"Now you calm the _Hell _down and don't you go yellin' at her!" Bones' voice rose in fury along with his Georgian accent which doubled in thickness as his words took on more anger.

Insanity. That's all I could honestly explain what was happening. However as insanity slithered her way into the room like a cold-hearted viper; I still found calm eyes. The eyes I found belonged to Mr. Spock.

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**Author's Note: So this is the next chapter, I think it went interesting, what do you all think?**

Applejax XD- I'm very glad you like the point of view I chose! I hope you like this chapter

Thank you to Who cares711, .Hearts.x, and AndromedaAI for adding my story to their favorites list, also thank you to bevohoward88, 20DreamBig12, glowgreen4m3, Black Thorns Entangled K, anotheruntoldstory, bevohoward88, fleuret, and Erian Erillar for following my story.


	5. Entwine A Common Reaction

**Write Our Story: Chapter Five: Entwine A Common Reaction**

I was getting to be very, very done with sleepless nights. This was my second night it didn't help having Andrew on board the ship. Even with him doors and doors away it felt like he was right there drawing me tighter into his arms.

It felt like he was right there whispering charming words in my ear. It felt like it was his lips that were tracing my ear and my cheek and my jaw line. My thoughts for once were completely focused on the subject at hand and it seemed that they wouldn't escape, no matter how much I forced them too.

I wanted to submit to it, to the thoughts of Andrew in my bed holding me. Was it a rebound I wanted? Is this really what I was coming to? No, I wanted happiness. I could get upset at times, but I didn't exactly need a relationship, I just wanted one.

Like a thirteen year old girl high off of her own hormones. She wanted the feel of a boyfriend, when in reality it was her own hormones that were setting her off and making her wet whenever she took a look at Justin Bieber without a shirt.

Yes my life was turning into a weekly episode of Degrassi.

"_In this hot new episode, we find that everybody's favorite virgin is tested by the arrival of her green-eyed Ex-hubby, Andrew Grayson, things are going to heat up in this episode of Degrassi: Enterprise." _

I found that funny in spite of how bad I felt on the inside. I guess it had been the yelling, no one actually made a comment about what Andrew had said; almost like no one wanted to acknowledge the obvious just to make me feel better.

I never exactly loved it when people did that to me. Like when I was thirteen years old and on my first day returning to the summer camp I'd gone to since I was three years old, I was immediately placed at the bottom of the food chain.

Even so, a kind councilor one that reminded me of…me, talked to me. Her name was March if I do recall, and she tried her best to be nice to me and on the inside I felt bad for her because she was getting paid to deal with me.

A silent not very social, 'if I don't care, I can't get hurt' just turned teenage girl. Another part of me was upset, because she was only being nice to get paid. Well, I couldn't read into her mind but even at thirteen I knew what I wanted to become.

Psychiatry, psychology, it didn't matter; I just wanted to study the mind. To understand why people hated, why people feared, to help people who feared, who hated for irrational reasons. The mind fascinated me to no end.

Anyone's mind was a maze that I would get lost in. I loved the theory of deepest desires, forbidden secrets, horrible truths and just disgusting fears. I wanted to see just what the mind was and how everyone's thoughts and feelings shaped the world.

Even my own small world here on the Enterprise was enough for me to explore. This made my heart flutter a little bit, because there were challenges on this ship like Mr. Grace who hadn't spoken to me about any particular issue.

Then there was Mr. Spock. All of my thoughts hushed themselves once Mr. Spock crossed my mind. I was once again pulled into the events of today and the calm gaze Mr. Spock held. Even after my world was beginning to crumble, the world I built away from my husband was shattering he held a calm gaze.

And in that moment I was oh so jealous of the 'Unfeeling' Mr. Spock. I wanted to crawl away into his mind and see what kept him on his Vulcan path. Yes Mr. Spock was truly incredible. From his calm eyes to his forever perfect posture, it took a lot for his emotional wall to be penetrated.

And for that, I felt trapped. Dr. McCoy had once told me he felt bad for Spock. Spock would never feel the gentle caress of love from a woman. He would never feel the rage when a lover wanted another. He would never feel the pressure of love as it drove him to pure and utter insanity.

(Spock's P.O.V.)

Spock hid his feelings in his calm eyes. He hid every secret in his eyes that sometimes could not always keep their mask. Tonight yet again Spock was having a sleepless night and this time, it was surely Angel who was singing in his mind.

_Angel_, it left a sweet taste in his mouth. He much more preferred it then Miss. Grey but that was nothing something he was going to do. She was sure to question him on it or hint it into the conversation.

He couldn't risk that, questions would trouble him and he wouldn't be able to react in time. With that he would be too silent and she would easily piece together just what he was nervous on.

And yet he wasn't sure why he was hiding his feelings. He was imprisoned in the Vulcan way that was true, but alone, alone together with her, a beautiful intelligent girl it was so easy for him to lose the control, just for a little bit.

He needed some form of a release, just to explain to kiss her lips and perhaps even touch her. He had never felt this way with a woman before, excluding his Pon Farr time. Now was this the human side of him, or the Vulcan?

The farther more barbaric side of the Vulcan race which was not quite forgotten, once the Vulcan race was warlike, cruel, and full of emotion especially on the topic of mating. No was this longing for Angel the human side of him, or his more barbaric Vulcan feeding these delusions into him.

There were times when Spock wanted nothing more than the classic advice his mother had told him. He could recall it word for word but it wasn't his mother speaking to him. It was his own mind, his own imagination that so badly wanted to recreate his mother.

He could not, and so he began to seek advice from others. The only closest to his mother's was Angel's advice. It was simple; his mother had told him to follow his heart. Angel had explained to him to trust his feelings.

Perhaps his…feelings for Angel, were not illogical after all, at least that is the way it seemed to him.

(Andrew's P.O.V.)

I'm fucking sick and tired of all the staring. So I yelled at my Ex-wife, but it seems like I murdered the president. The stares are getting me very pissed off, in particular one guy is _really _getting on my nerves.

Apparently his name is Mr. Grace. Mr. Grace is the biggest tool I've ever seen in my life. It's obvious he's distracted by something and that causes him to bump into me. He already decides not to apologies and then that little shit stared me down. He had the nerve to stare me down.

I really had no time to deal with his crap today. As a matter of the fact I had no time to deal with anyone's crap. The first day and the Captain of the ship already had a bone to pick with me, not to mention the whole rest of the ship seemed to hate me.

In all honesty I couldn't understand just why the Captain had gotten mad, at first I thought it was because I had hurt his little fuck-buddy's feelings. Then I learned that Angel had gotten herself to become the Captain's 'Little sister.'

Isn't that just so fucking cute? She's protected by that prick like a mother cougar would protect its cub. I wasn't just pounced on by the mother cougar, but also a stupid hick with a southern boy draw. Then I had to deal with snow black as she raved and ranted about what I was doing.

So I was pulled off and I had to stay away from Angel for now, which I'm not sure how long is going to work. Yes, it's a big ship, one of the biggest Star Fleet ships, but that doesn't mean I won't run into her, and then what are they going to do?

Sue me for breathing too close to her? The only man I was currently neutral with wasn't actually even a man. He looked like the devil himself, hell he had the ears to match. It was difficult not to picture him stabbing people with a pitch fork and pushing them into an endless void of suffering.

But instead of being sinister he was the quiet one, in fact he was _weirdly _quiet. Almost like he was calculating everything, or trying to make a decision, or just…observing. People like that bothered me.

They weren't God, and they didn't need to sit and watch the 'animals at play' they were part of this world same as you and I and yet they continued to just observe, even so he hadn't said anything to me.

And I wanted it to remain that way.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

I needed someone to talk to, and for some reason, my mind was screaming Mr. Spock. Well not Mr. Spock, just Spock. Spock felt nicer on my tongue, it almost felt natural. It actually wasn't my mind screaming Spock.

It was my heart, I had slowly realized as I had thought, the dread I felt in the air and the guilt was the heart-ache I felt for Spock. He had been a constant in my life, he never pushed, he never teased, he never tried to find out secrets.

I was falling in love with the play-boy Vulcan; every inch of him was becoming very suitable. I had finally admitted that I was in love, that I was falling deeply, deeply in love with Spock, and my heart was finally set free.

But if I set my heart free, it was always put in a cage, and worse yet, Spock couldn't love. Allow me to rephrase, Spock _wouldn't _love. It was not of the Vulcan way to fall in love, picking a mate was only important for one thing: reproduction.

Procreation, a simple process of getting no real sexual pleasure (Excluding Pon Farr) and creating another organism to guarantee the survival of a race; even on the topic of bearing a child, if Spock ever got to the point of impregnating me, if Spock ever impregnated a human alone, he would be shunned far more then he already was, and the child, that poor child would never be accepted in his own culture.

And this angered me, not the fact of a child. That a Vulcan could not feel and they didn't search for pleasure. Mating was based on blood lines and physical and mental advancement. That decision of a mate was also decided by a parent.

And for that, Vulcans life were so, so, so simple, and yet they were also so, so, so difficult. So I decided in the sea of grey that the Vulcan world was, I was going to put just a dash of red in the part of the world that was Spock's.

I needed to confront my feelings. I was not a little girl, and I was the shy fifteen year old that had blushed when Andrew had glanced my way. I'd rather him reject me then I steal glances at him in the hallway.

Talk about vivid dreams of tasting his lips, or steal small things to remind me of his scent. That wasn't something I would have liked to be a part of. I was not Nyota and I also wasn't Christine.

(Spock's P.O.V.)

_Her lips felt like a flame against mine. As seconds grew into minutes we tasted each other, and yet I couldn't place when I had lost control. _

It seemed I had collapsed beneath the weight on my shoulders. The weight of being a Vulcan, and as illogical as it seems, as illogical as it seemed to cry when my mother had passed on, as illogical as it was to retaliate against the other Vulcan children that had bullied me, I had always reacted

Why was now different? I had reacted. Though there _was _a difference. I had been provoked my entire life to give a reaction. Now I was not provoked, I had wanted to break. I had wanted to break and for once not care about the reactions I would receive.

And though I did not show it in my words, I showed it through my eyes. And Angel, _my _Angel had taken her time to read my emotions. She had taken time to find the emotions in a person who did not 'feel.'

And in her eyes, I found a common emotion, one that was filled with confusion, wander, and slight hope. She had also needed to be held, to be comforted, and to be reassured much as I had needed to be.

She had become my Angel and I felt that the world around me for once had stopped pointing their attention to the outcast of the crew. For once the world that never stopped silenced itself while we made music in our kiss and our tongue's danced.

The Captain, the doctor, Mr. Chekov, Mr. Scott, Mr. Sulu, Lieutenant Uhura, Nurse Chapel, Mr. Grace were all trivial beings, none could compare to the here and now.

I was finally alone now with my thoughts, and with the female I had been craving for quite some time now.

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**Author's Note: I think this chapter came out quite well, I hope you all enjoyed it**

Thank you to Kellyhorse, Olivia-melody-cullen for adding my story to their favorites list; also thank you to Sapphire1991, and SoraLover987142 for adding their story to their story alert list.


	6. Just Let Them Live In Bliss

**Write Our Story: Chapter Six: Just Let Them Live In Bliss**

(Angel's P.O.V.)

_I walked to his room and I held a slightly grim pace, I was slow and unfocused and nervous. Sound had been blocked out from my ears and I could only recall one or two people walking past me in a hurry. _

_I felt the ship moving, everything around me was moving; then suddenly I could hear every knob turn and every beckon blink. All the while I stayed on my path to find Spock. I felt numb and I couldn't exactly comprehend just why I was forcing myself to do this._

_I had been so sure of my decision in my room, my own private kingdom. But outside of my room, I was small; I was a small peasant in a room of kings. I needed help, but Nyota and Christine wouldn't understand exactly what I met. _

_Kirk would make a stupid comment no matter how serious I was, Scotty wasn't a love guru and he would be against me dating anyone. Pavel and Sulu wouldn't be too keen on the idea and they would try to come. _

_Bones wouldn't even want me in the room if I even gave a hint to the idea. He wouldn't want anyone to hurt me, let alone the Vulcan. I needed so much advice and yet I couldn't get it. _

_The irony in this situation was simply too much to bear. I was a mentalist and yet I needed advice. Each moment I walked I wanted to melt beneath the lines in the floor, the tiny, tiny lines where I could sink beneath the metal and pile up where no one could see me. _

_With each step my breath slowed down dangerously and my heart fluttered a little bit. With each step I felt like death was approaching. Every atom of my being felt as if fire was dragging it tongue down them. _

_I was nervous. _

_I was extremely nervous to see just how Spock would react. Spock wasn't going to understand me all because of his Vulcan way. And after he would reject me, and I would be another in the line of females that had fallen for the heart-throb Vulcan. _

_I had discovered I had fallen suddenly, but that's what love was: impulsiveness. Perhaps I really _did _want a rebound. Maybe because of Andrew in my presence I felt the need to have a man close to me, to make him react. _

_Did I want him mad? If I was a selfish immature female then I did, I was not selfish nor was I immature. So I needed to force myself to confront my feelings and somehow I thought when I looked into those deep eyes, closely for once, I would know just what he meant to me, and just what I meant to him. _

_I was giving a man with no emotions, my heart, my soul, and my mind. It was his to hold and his to throw away on the spot or his to shun. I was giving a man with no emotions my love. _

_(Spock's P.O.V.) _

_Spock was found on his way back from a trip to his new adviser. He had left a response to her letter and he had taken the long way to return to his room. He was troubled as he had been for many nights now. _

_His thoughts had been bombarded by the death of his mother and just how...alone he felt. His head hadn't been clear since the death of his mother and he was finally acknowledging it. _

_All the emotions he felt, they weren't real were they? They were only provoked from the stimulus of losing his mother. What he felt for Angel, no what he felt for Miss Grey could not have been real. If this was his decision, why did he suddenly feel so dead inside? _

_He felt as if he was out of his character._

_Just who was he? A man who couldn't feel, but to some he was a man who wouldn't feel. To some like Angel…Miss Grey… he was a man who felt all the time, but did not show it. For that she was a God to him for being willing to look. _

_And for that she was also torturing him. And for those reasons she was making him want to lose control. She was beautiful yes, but it was her mind that fascinated Spock to no end for the fact of the matter that he could not tell just what she felt._

_By her eyes, or her breathing, or her stance, or her voice, she was calm, unless she needed to be compassionate, unless she needed to be happy, unless she needed to be upset. She was wonderful. She was extremely wonderful, and Spock did not want to part from her. _

_Spock did not want to leave her, he did not want another male to take her, and yet he couldn't act. He had not felt this way about any female in his life, not even during his Pon Farr; the connection he felt mentally to Angel was groundbreaking. _

_Even so he would not tell her, he couldn't tell her. His Vulcan way would not allow him too. He needed her to be the one to lay her courtship onto him. Once she was his however, he would not release her so easily. _

_If he was a full human, he would state that God had answered his prayers. _

_However he was not human, he was a Vulcan. _

(Angel's P.O.V.)

There's no sun this far out in space. Sometimes I was happy there wasn't and sometimes I wished there was. Sometimes I wanted nothing more to awaken next to the heat of the morning sun. Other times I was happy to awaken by the light of the stars.

I was happy to awaken to stars…happy. Something I had not been for a very long time. Happy because of the outcome of a science experiment; I had kissed Spock. I had kissed Spock and he kissed me back.

What kind of dangerous tide was I wandering into? A tide only lover's sail that was true. Did I want to be Spock's lover? I felt his heart beat for me when we kissed, and I know he felt mine. But many girls Christine and Nyota included called him a heart-breaker.

That he was only going to break my heart, shatter it actually. Worst still, he wouldn't realize he had done a thing to me. I stood up from the warmth of my bed and into the cold air around me. Even so I walked slowly to the shower in a way I was trying to torture myself in the chilled air.

Was I punishing myself for going too far with Spock? Or for even believing I could have a relationship with him? He wasn't exactly easy to please. It was something in the challenge, the difficulty at winning his heart that made him all the more attractive.

I couldn't understand this however. I never had the most romantic mind, I knew what I wanted, I knew what I liked, but anything extra… anything extra was like Christmas in July. Anything more could change my rainy day to gentle snowy days, days I preferred.

If there was one man that wouldn't understand this, it was Spock.

And yet…he was different and so was I; isn't that what this ship was? Different. Each and every person was different and they found common ground, common friendship, and even common love.

So why did my relationship with Spock need to be hypothetical… why did it have to be a dream? I was growing slightly weary of my misgivings on Spock, and I confronting the elephant in the room wasn't what I exactly wanted to do this early morning, and yet I showered, I got dressed and I thought more.

I couldn't lie; I had a slight bit of guilt in finding an attraction to Spock. I had guilt for kissing him as well. So I dug up something in my past that had always been there, but it had been silent.

It was not a very common thing aboard the Enterprise, Hell no one really believed in anything anymore. And yet…

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."

I did.

Stain glass reminded me of my childhood. A childhood that was filled with the 'Holy Spirit.' I use the Holy Spirit in the loosest sense so as not to offend and so as not to cause an uproar. So many people wanted to play creator that they defined just what and who the Holy Spirit was.

The Holy Spirit could not even be real. Religion has been in my life constantly, much like the Holy Spirit or so I was told, and even so it faded to the back, yes I kept my morals but it never stuck with me, I was never graced with the same calling from God as other people were.

God was there as long as I allowed him to be, correct? He was there for all his 'Children' but we had to allow him in completely. I believed in God, I however did not follow every single rule.

I do believe in divorce, so therefore, yes father forgive me for I have sinned.

"And how have you sinned, my child?" The priest placed his hand onto my bent head and his eyes fluttered close.

"I've divorced, and now after a year I've kissed another man, and I want love again." Was it a sin? To the church yes, because divorce was wrong in its eyes, and yet it wasn't in my eyes.

"My child I cannot forgive you, for I am not God, but God will forgive you and he shall show it, but my child…my daughter, what is it _you _seek?"He was a smoker.

The priest before me was a smoker, his teeth were slightly yellow and his breath had the soft reminisce of a cigarette. Even more so what fascinated me is that he wanted to know just what I was searching for.

In such perhaps I wanted to be told I was wrong, that my attraction to Spock was completely wrong and I shouldn't have allowed myself to lose myself in that way. Perhaps I wanted to be told I had a calling for God that was ignored all these years and this sudden craving for a man's attention was the craving for the passion of Christ. Perhaps I wanted to be told that I was right in holding an attraction to Spock.

That I had not sinned and it was my time, and that perhaps for once the church was wrong, and I my correct partner or in Spock's term mate was waiting for me onboard the Starship Enterprise.

I didn't know what I wanted to admit. I was unsure of what I was currently feeling, I had been quite unsure of myself for quite some time now. So for some reason, maybe it was the light of Christ or my own suppressed emotions…I cried.

I let tears stream down my face in silence, and I whispered to the priest before me; the priest with strong hands and gentle eyes.

"My father I want to be out of the storm."

(Mr. Grace's P.O.V.)

I saw something. And now in the waking dawn, I can't help but think of what I saw. I can't help but think of what I saw. The morning is supposed to be a new awakening; it should start you with a want to live, and a want to go on.

I don't want to live right now. I don't want to exist. And I sure as Hell don't want to report to work right now. My life had to be a drama, Hell it wasn't a drama it was a sitcom. A sick, sick, sick sitcom that God was running, he found it funny didn't he?

Him and all of his dam Angel friends found this _hilarious. _It wasn't funny to mess with my life. I was not a character in Sims. I was not entertainment. But I really felt like that right now. I couldn't really blame her; she didn't know I was crazy for her.

But all the same I could easily blame him, I hated him. And even now, God added another player in the super smash brawl video game that was my life. He was kicking me when I was down just with his angry gaze.

_Andrew_

Andrew or as I had to call him, Mr. Grayson was a rude immature bastard that had yelled at Angel in front of most of her friends. Not to mention he had allowed something Angel had obviously wanted to keep secret. She had been married before. Just let that sink in, a twenty-one year old girl was married before.

It was difficult not to imagine her in bed with Andrew. Hell it was getting to be a little hard not imagine her anywhere but my bed room. I'm a guy and sometimes my twenty three year old boy cravings get the best of me.

But don't get any ideas; I was completely against the idea of masturbating. It always disgusted me that a guy would get pleasure from touching himself. Masturbating was for lonely guys that can't get girls… alright now I see how I seem like that type of guy.

But she was just playing hard to get wasn't she?

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry about the lack of an update; I have been babysitting quite a lot and working some late hours. But that's no excuse! I'll try to update quicker. **

ApplejaxXD- I'm glad things are getting interesting for you! Thank you so much for reviewing I was getting rather frightened that my story wasn't very well liked anymore!

Thank you to deziprincess88, Eymris Grayson, Violetkarma, HuiTinG for adding my story to their favorites list; Also thank you too Violetkarma, TimeMistress3722, and Hope of the Darknessfor following my story.


	7. Tease Them Just To Play

**Write Our Story: Chapter Seven: Tease Them Just To Play**

(Spock's P.O.V.)

Angel was not currently onboard. Adding to the confusion of her not being onboard just where she had gone was classified. Angel had not seemed like one to hide things. Then again Spock was barely sure what kind of female she seemed like. One can only tell so much from a kiss.

A kiss... a kiss he had shared with her alone in his arms once he had lost control. He still wasn't completely sure just who had begun the action. He was sure that he had become oh so vulnerable to another person, another _female_ to add. Though her image, her voice, her scent could not escape his mind in the recent days.

All in the recent days he had fallen apart from her calm common officer to her lover in unopened and secretive terms. Lover, in a way this could be seen as… 'Over stepping one's boundaries' as a human might put. Though all that Spock knew in a sense of things involving relationships and anything else around the spectrum was that close after a kiss a relationship was initiated.

This made most sense to Spock and by being a Vulcan in his nature he could not lie and say he was not pleased by this fact. To call Angel a lover or even a mate made him feel less earth-bound and perhaps that's what he needed. Now he had to assume logically that Angel wherever she may be was also ready to initiate a relationship.

Spock was not fully equipped with the knowledge of what a human would like in a relationship and discussing the idea of a relationship with the Captain would lead to many questions when Spock did not have many answers. Because of this fact, Spock would have to diagnose his own self. Where was he to begin? He supposed he should begin with how others would perceive their relationship.

Would other's be involved in this matter or was it to be kept secretive? Would there be closer contact such as sitting together, walking together, perhaps even working closer together. Closer… her definition and his definition were very different. Pondering a relationship was rather difficult to perform on his own.

Another aspect to debate just how far would the relationship journey. Hand-holding, hugging, kissing… more than kissing, that was all categorized into the same very broad topic. Spock was not very sure what Angel would be comfortable with, and while what came after kissing was not something Spock wanted to think about, he _had _to think of it because he did not want to upset Angel in any way.

He settled on the choice that she would not want anything more than kissing. He based this choice on the fact that she was a virgin, which was rather 'Unusual' according to most humans. Twenty-one was apparently a sound age to lose your virginity, Spock himself was rather ashamed to say that he had lost his virginity at that age. It was not of his choice however, he wasn't in the right mind when his Pon Farr came.

He was primal and age did not matter, at that moment he was primal, completely primal and he wanted to want, tasted to taste, and took to took. In his own desires, yes Spock did have desires…he was curious of what loving physically would feel like away from Pon Farr. He wanted to lose himself just because of the beautiful, beautiful woman before him, the beautiful woman of body, soul, and mind.

Spock closed his eyes for a moment to in vision Angel, his thoughts of their relationship to be could and would wait. For now, he just wanted to imagine his Angel with him as she should be.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

I remember in my younger years I went to a summer camp. A fairly expensive one at that; my parents who came from poverty wanted to prove to themselves that they had made it big. Because of that I went to the 'Best' camp money could buy in my small suburban town. In short however the camp sucked; the counselors were moody teenagers but my group leader was a shriveled and rather crabby woman that only sometimes had a soft spot for me.

The other campers were mean girls and mean boys who were too cool to show any real intelligence and too whorey to not have boyfriends at the steady ages of twelve and or thirteen. I myself wasn't part of any real group. A few of the mentally challenged kids who were proclaimed brilliant couldn't hold a conversation and I needed to be at least a little mentally stimulated.

Two popular but not quite so up there popular girls who liked a few different things and called themselves hipsters whom I tried to engage conversation with seemed to be rather inviting. Even so I didn't exactly last, I was in their group about forty-seven percent of the time when they weren't trying to be the up there popular girls.

The higher class of the popularity were not to be spoken to in my opinion except for an occasional 'I like your shirt' (Me to them) 'Hi' (Them to me) conversation. Finally I was left with the new girl, the random wannabe popular girl, or the counselors. I naturally picked the counselors, well; I selected the counselor not plural. The counselor whose name was March was very kind. She dealt with me very well but she wanted me to interact with the other children my age.

This was difficult for me so I did what I thought must be done, I tried my best to separate myself from her. In doing so I discovered friendship in the very kind, a tad too giddy, and slightly childlike twenty year old Raquel. Raquel became a good friend of mind but even so I knew it wasn't completely real. Of course she found me at any time she could, of course we hugged and talked and she listened to me, but when I asked for her number, she responded in a joking manner.

"Ew, no you're an icky kid!"

And while I knew it was a joke, I still realized where I stood. I was at the bottom of the food chain once again in my life. The world was painted oh so differently in my eyes then other people, it wasn't black, or white, or grey, or red, or blue, or pink, or yellow, or green, it was just blank.

So I listened on to my Mozart, and I played on my guitar, piano, and violin, I read on in my latest novels, and I watched on in my Stat Wars films, and I just learned to except just what this world was, and who I was in it, and how much I didn't matter. Even if I didn't matter however it seemed my counselors especially March needed to make sure I found some form of happiness in the summer.

So I slowly but surely began to crawl back to March who had spoken a quiet secret to me one day on just what kind of world she wanted to build for herself. She believed she was destined to become a nun. March discovered her calling for God four years ago and after the four years of praying she was set in her ways to join her fellow God fearing sisters in a mission.

I was happy for her on the outside, on the inside I was selfish and I wanted to know just why she had to leave. And the selfish, selfish part of me wanted to believe that I was just a pain in her spiritual side. So I again lived on and when the day came for March to leave, I didn't come to camp.

I prayed and thought about how I perceived life as the father told me to do. I sat close to the back and followed the motions of each prayer as a good church girl would do. I tried my best to listen to the mass and I tried my best to let the voice of God into me. I still didn't hear a thing, it made me feel irrelevant. If God was there for all of his 'Children' why wasn't I called to him?

Was God even real? The mention of God's existence made my thoughts rush far back to Spock. Oh what a rush to the start of my problems… Spock. Where was he now? On the ship most likely dreading the fact he had to face me once again, once again he had to face the fact that he had lost control and I had made him lose control.

An odd part of me took some satisfaction that I made the Vulcan curl beneath lips. The man made of steel had melted before me. It was thrilling, exhilarating even to imagine Spock completely and utterly stuck on me. I imagined him sitting in his room for long hours with me on his mind. I imagined him alone in the dark with a deep, deep craving for me.

I was his addictive drug and it made me feel important something I hadn't felt in a long, long time. Now all of this was hypothetically speaking of course; there was a great chance that he wouldn't want anything to do with me, and in honesty that made me feel very, very empty. I did feel something immeasurable when anything else was compared to Spock.

In short he fascinated me to no end it wasn't his human side, but his Vulcan side, his oh so trapped Vulcan side it was almost…alluring. He was compassionate as a human was, he was brilliant like a human was, and he was even a tad stubborn like a typical human male was. But all the same he was a child of two worlds.

Two polar opposite worlds, one world where dramatic emotion and impulsive decisions rained supreme and another where everything a human stood for is hidden away. How that must torture he must have created some release... I'd only seen him fulminate once. I'd seen him close to the edge many times, but I'd never seen him fall until that day.

And in that moment I realized he was always dangling from the edge at every moment.

(Captain Kaol's P.O.V.)

We have been watching them for quite some time now. We have latent ourselves from their sites for long enough that we have seen many try their hand against them, they all have fallen. All have been crushed by the humans who have been commanded by a coward of a man who hides in a chair and allows his other crew members to do his ground work.

He has no honor in his fighting, and for that we will break him and his ship. The one thing the captain does keep around however is many, many pulchritudinous females around to prance about in rather tight fitting dresses. That kind of wear is reserved only for the females that give themselves as pleasure to men in exchange for monetary recompense; this wear was not for female warriors.

This shows how serious Star-Fleet takes its warriors. For that, they are weak, and we will over throw them just as we have done for centuries, just as my father did for centuries, as his father did, and as his father's father has done. Star-Fleet will be no different, I will not disappoint my ancestors; I will not disappoint my people.

There is a storm approaching haltingly, and this storm will overtake the Enterprise within its dark mass of clouds, and it will end the great tittle of the ship commanded by a coward with a crew of fools. And easily, very, very easily will one of their own, the one that chose the glory in our people, will be the first one to fall.

(Andrew's P.O.V.)

I discovered something real fucking interesting close to the bridge at the wee hours of the morning. I discovered two people who I wouldn't expect together at this same moment. I also wasn't prepared for just what I saw.

Spit-swapping, lip-locking, tongue-tasting, snogging, pecking, whatever the fuck you called it your country or planet, I ascertained my wife, no I'm sorry my Ex-wife of a year now kissing the mother fucking pointy-eared bastard.

What I once saw as a trivial human being was now one person on my 'I hope you die in a hole' list. And just why of why was I becoming possessive over what wasn't mine. I hadn't wanted her to be mine any longer and yet looking at her with another man, another man titling her head back with his lips and tasting her made my blood seethe.

It was official, I hated everyone on board this ship and I wanted out, I wanted nothing more than out. I wanted to return to the simple life of my child-hood, or even my married life. I had to sit, kiss, help with bills, clean a little, eat and finally sleep.

Now I was in the real world, the worse thing about it was that after marriage I realized I had been sleeping my entire life and because of that alcohol became something unbelievably interesting to me. I had a few mixed drinks from time to time; I had beer, liquor anything that would put hair on a man's chest before.

But after my divorce alcohol became my brand new lover, and hey it was better than being with that bitch Molly. She was the whole new club craze at the time, and yet while staying away from her, I partied-hardy all on my own; and in those party nights I felt higher than a kite, Hell I felt happier that any type of drug addict there was.

But at the beginning of the morning each day, I felt so, so, so empty and alone in a king sized bed of only one person, so I filled it. I wasn't about to lie, I had sex every now and then. One thing that never failed were eager eighteen year olds ready to get it on with any hot man they saw, and I was classified as hot.

I had been told many times while loving a girl all night long as well as outside of the bed room. Truth be told I guess I glamorized divorce, Hell divorce was a break-up with papers to sign. And as I predicted, every girl wanted in on the divorcee, was it because they didn't care of I was hot?

I didn't want to question it and I didn't need to question it. All I had to do was ride on top of the world and watch every other girl ride me. It was a good life being a divorcee, and yet when the issue of money came, it was no shock I collided hard into the rocks with my parties, my alcohol, and my women. Sooner or later I had to put down the 'College boy antics' and pick up some books, some calculators, some big-boy pens instead of pencils and get on with my life.

And I have to say I have no idea how the _Hell _I pursed Engineering. I guess I always loved to know how things worked. In hindsight, that also applied to women. I didn't really like it when I couldn't figure out how they worked. Now that I really think about it, that's what drove me completely out of my mind with Angel.

I couldn't really get how the fuck she thought. When she was angry she'd be so, so, so endlessly kind until you were practically rolling on the floor for her to be real again. When she was sad you wouldn't know the most you could do was see if she was eating and then you would easily be able to see.

She was so different and that drove me crazy in a way that I liked… loved even, and that's where my anger came from.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

I found a response to my letter. With all the Hell that's been unfolding before me I still want to respond to anonymous and help him out with his issues.

_Dear Angel Grey,_

_As for first initial feelings, I've been trying to hide that I am feeling anything. I want to ignore it, and yet I can't. Everything about her is becoming simply irresistible, and what I would not give to get closer to her. _

_I have known her for two years now; we work fairly close to each other so conversation is unavoidable. She has been there when I have needed and yet I have not gone to her, however, I consider her a companion, yes, I am unsure if she considers the same for me._

_I send my apologies that you did not feel the same emotions you felt at first with your past relationship._

_Sincerely,_

_Anonymous _

_Dear anonymous_ I mused in my head, _be happy you're not caught in a soap opera currently unlike I am. _But drama paid, I always knew it did, and this may be a high-class ship, but what wouldn't they give for just a little bit of theatrical styled entertainment, and some juicy, delectable gossip.

**Author's Note: I think this update was on time for once! Five-day updates are coming back hopefully! **

Fandomenforcer- Thank you so much for your review, I'm happy you enjoyed it!

Thank you too DJfirehawk and fandomenforcer for adding my story to your Story Alert list.


	8. When Desire Crawls Near, Hide

**Write Our Story: Chapter Eight: When Desire Crawls Near, Hide**

(Angel's P.O.V.)

In truth I didn't want to come back aboard the ship. For some reason lately it felt less like my home and more like a circus where I was the main attraction. I knew no one could have seen Spock and I share affection for one another, and yet I still feared someone _did _know. I'd spent most of my life feeling like I was the human oddity in a side show attraction and I didn't want to continue that way of living again.

With dread in my eyes I came back aboard the ship, and once back on, I was met with the curious eyes of a medical physician.

"Took ya' an entire day, might I ask where ya' went?" His gaze dripped down and back up her frame searching for any kind of hint.

"It wasn't anything very important Bones." I replied.

"Then why was it classified?" He challenged.

He was wonderful at belittling people. He had authority in his voice that even made Kirk stop and hark. Even so he was badgering a mentalist; dealing with inquisitive people was my life on a daily basis. Everyone wanted to know about the girl with the deep blue-grey eyes who didn't have much to say. Bones was a fatherly figure but sometimes his questions came across more as a jealous boyfriend than a friendly comment.

If he was looking for me to falter in my speech, for my gaze to separate from his, for my expression to change he was out of his country boy mind.

"It was important enough to keep classified, but unimportant enough to really talk about, so you checked to see why I was gone? A little too curious on where I was going Doctor McCoy?" There it was a changed expression and a drifting gaze.

I had caught my predator in a simply delightful trap.

"Well I have a right to know….I…am a doctor after all." He scarcely could reason.

I didn't answer, I didn't need too. The conversation was over at this point, what Bones didn't know, wouldn't hurt him. I wasn't doing anything bad, but going to a church to visit a priest? That wasn't exactly normal, and it would surely cause an uproar of questions.

And currently, I didn't want to distract myself from anything but my decision. I started my walk to Officer Spock. The world didn't stop for me and it continued on aboard my ship that was still distantly floating about Space. People yelled, and chattered, and went through the motions of their ever day job.

In their haste someone's shoulder brushed against mine. I gave a soft apology though it wasn't my fault and I was met by silence.

In some ways, the ship could remind me of a bustling sea harbor, and not a city. Yes ironically a sea harbor not only because we were a ship but because of the atmosphere. There was a sense of unity, but also of detachment. There was professionalism but also fun, everyone mattered in some way and without each person, the ship would sink, or in our case, it would come crashing down on to the nearest planet.

And just like a ship, news could travel and I still found myself worried on whether or not anyone had seen Spock and I. I had an unquenchable urge to look behind my shoulder; I tried my best to ignore it but it was still there scratching against the back of my thoughts.

I found Spock at his usual station his head bent down looking over his section of the bridge with complete and utter attention. His calculating eyes scanned over his area in thought and then his warm chocolate eyes glanced my way. Kirk noticed his glance and he too turned but I wasn't focused on him, at least not until he spoke to me.

"Hey, you're back… is everything okay?" Kirk was worried, a very rare state to see him in.

He was usually easy going and nothing could shake his calm vibe, but now he was worried about his littlest sister and I knew I couldn't get his attention away from me, so I did what made sense.

"I have a few things to discuss with Mr. Spock, I know he can assist me in a science equation that even I'm finding myself confused on."

And like that, at the mention of Science, Kirk's expression shifted back to his normal trivial one. All was now right with the world. Kirk motioned for Spock to go on and leave. We both made our way to the elevator, me leading and him following. Once the doors closed however I was against his lips.

Or maybe he was against mine… I wasn't sure which way this really had gone but I was in a volcano and then I was drifting on the rough snow, his fingertips were on my waist and my hands were in his raven hair. We were like that for a little before the idea of oxygen came to both of our minds and we separated.

"I hope you can forgive me for that rather sudden and abrupt… contact." He finally said after a few silent breaths.

"Was it you that started that kiss?" I responded.

"I'm rather unsure." He said in a skeptical tone.

I was panting a little; I struggled to catch my breath and looked at Spock's eyes. He had his mother's eyes. I could still remember Amanda quite easily, she was a kind woman with the most intoxicating and gentle black-brown eyes. They could be kind, but all the same fierce and as dominant as the Vulcan trait in Spock was, I could still see the human in his eyes, his gorgeous eyes.

"Spock… I don't know how to say this at all, you would think I would have the words to explain my emotions towards you, or what we should do with our…_my _emotions towards you. I think I'm in love with you Spock, endlessly inexplicably wonderfully in love with you. I'm drowning in my every emotion and I'm sinking into your measuring eyes. I'm infatuated with your human side and I'm intoxicated by your Vulcan side as well. I just want you Spock, I want the human, the Vulcan, the anger, the sadness, the happiness, the calculating, the hiding, everything and anything you are Spock, I want. Hell Spock, I crave it, I desperately crave you, I don't ever want to drift away from you; I want to grow with you and I want to heal myself a little with you, I want to experience real love; the love you have to offer, whether you can't or don't want to show it, I still want it. So let me have it Spock, let me have it…or let me go."

I can't explain what crossed over his eyes; but his face was static and unchanging. He bent his head into my collar and placed a kiss on the bone with tender lips.

"For you to love a man… an extraterrestrial that has nothing to offer you, nothing to give you for the dreadful task of loving me. It is almost far too much to bear; to call you my beloved, my treasured, my T'hy'la; is a kingly gift you are offering to peasant. I am fascinated by you Angel, there is no way I can hide this fact, but to return your affection, what I so long to do, I cannot and yet, I cannot let you go, and I cannot allow any other man to have at you, I am selfish in this way." Spock's lips were warm as were his words.

Spock for being a Vulcan, no matter how cliché it was, had a simply exquisite way with words.

"Spock you can't give me a reason, not to love you." His cheek was soft against my caress

"I believe I got exactly what I had bargained for in my letters then." He simply stated.

It took me a second, I won't lie I looked at him with a puzzled look before every piece in the actual puzzle fit together perfectly.

"You…that was _you_?" I held his face in my hands.

"Indeed it was." He responded.

"Of all the unexpected, Spock you were sending me letters, you were confused and you asked me? The letters, the girl you were craving was me?"

"I believe you now understand the true depth of my emotions towards you, my Angel." My Angel gave me little twitters in my stomach similar to what a small school girl would get when her 'Crush' brushed his shoulder against hers.

"Let me tell you Spock, how simply admirable you are to me."

(Andrew's P.O.V.)

Working with Montgomery Scott or as everyone oh so _affectionately _called him Scotty was one of the most fucking awkward things I've ever experienced in my entire life. Of course he treated Angel like a-drum fucking roll please-sister. So I had to deal with his slightly pissed off looks whenever he looked at me. I could have murdered the head of Star Fleet and gotten less angry looks.

"Pass the screw driver, lad." I hated his accent; I hated it, _so _much.

Lad, then there was the fact that he called me Lad. I wanted to kill someone when I heard that. I wanted to go hulk and smash his skull in and watch his brains drip onto his skin and pour into his hallowed out mouth. But I couldn't do that, unless I wanted to be court martialed and thrown into a life of prison.

I gave him the screw driver without any words and continued sketching out a model to a new core reactor. There's was new, but could use a few adjustments there was no lie there.

"That a core reactor lad? We don't need a new one; I keep my eye on it like a Barred Warbler." That was the last mother fucking straw.

"I really don't want to know what the fuck that is." It felt so nice to have the F-bomb tumble out of my mouth.

His eyes changed and I found some anger.

"I'd watch your tongue there, laddie, or we're gonna' have some real issues."

"What are you going to do you fucked up version of a Patty?" When I let my anger out the world for once wasn't a totally offal place, because I controlled all of it with my anger.

He pushed me, I pushed him, he shoved me, I punched him in the face. Fists were flying kicking and yelling and growling and snarling and name calling, but it lasted only a few seconds because not long after we were being pulled apart. And I knew in the back of my mind that this wasn't going to fly so well with Captain Jack Ass, and yet, I really didn't give that much of a shit.

(*** XX *** XX *** XX ***)

In my whole three days aboard the Enterprise I had yelled at my Ex-wife and I had picked a fight with the head engineer and it felt really nice. I almost wasn't listening to a word that Captain Jack Ass was saying until he was right in front of my face.

"And you're not even listening to me! I've been fair Mr. Grayson. Very, very, _very _fair not to mention very, very tolerable to your actions; but harassing an officer, picking a fight with said officer is completely unforgivable!"

He wasn't finished but I interrupted anyways. If I was this far, might as well go the whole nine yards.

"Would you rather me pick on your little baby Angel? Because after I yelled at her it was the mother cougars all over me! You wanna talk about harassing Captain Sex Drive let's talk about harassing!" Oh my rage was just beginning.

"Harrasing is when my Ex-wife all pissy over the fact that I yelled at her, turned around and stuck your god dam devil officer's tongue down her throat!" I may have been tied to a chair but I was somehow getting closer to Captain Jack Ass, I had a way with _emphasizing_ my words.

The Captain's expression was downright confused as Hell. I might as well have told him that I had seen Angel flying to the moon with a pair of wings that sprouted from her ass. If Captain Jack Ass was aiming to embarrass me with most of his crew in the room while he lectured me, he wasn't getting what he wanted, but he was embarrassing someone, because I saw the expression that crossed over both Angel _and _the devil himself.

"You look confused Captain One-Night-stand, lemme rephrase! I saw your darling little sister swapping spit with your first officer, Fuck! I wouldn't be surprised if she had fucked him that very night!"

"You will _not _speak that way about _my _T'hy'la!" It was the sudden growling and primal voice of the devil that even made me tumble over my words and slam straight into the wall of silence.

We all heard the elevator open, and we all heard it close, the black chick with the pony tail (I think her name started with an N) was up but she was too late to get to her.

"Oh Angel boo, no." She said sadly.

(*** XX *** XX *** XX ***)

(Spock's P.O.V.)

"Is this what Angie was keepin' from us? You're and hers little get together, is that it?" The Doctor stated.

Spock's mind was swimming, yet again his Angel had fled, and yet again she was gone on classified business, and yet again was Spock confused.

"I do not wish to call what was…growing a 'Get Together' Doctor McCoy. I am experiencing something I never thought I would ever experience with any woman, let alone one of her nature."

"My God you've gotta' be kiddin' me." He replied.

"Bones. You, or me, or anyone can't help who Angel likes, and you, or me, or anyone can't help who Spock is…ah...attracted to." The Captain moved into the conversation.

Spock did appreciate what he had said; it put a part of him, even if it was a greatly small part of him, at ease.

"I can't believe she didn't tell me." Miss Uhura said a tad hurt.

"Or me." Said Nurse Chapel.

Spock was appreciative that she had not told anyone of her emotions, he knew how news could travel on the ship and he was not very comfortable with anyone knowing of the relationship that was sprouting; now however Spock was very much out of his 'Comfort zone.'

"Do we really have a right to know every aspect of her life? Maybe she didn't like being treated as our little sister; maybe we…belittled her too much." Our Helmsman mused.

"But… shouldn't ve know? Ve are a femily, ve should know." Ensign Chekov stated with uncertainty lacing his voice.

If there was one thing Spock knew about Angel, it was the love of the ship and its crew. That was obvious without Spock ever looking through her mind, she showed it in her expression in her actions and in everything she did. He knew every decision she made was for the good of the ship and her…family.

"Unless I am mistaken, I believe that Angel would not wish to alter the crew of The Enterprise… her…family, in any way possible. Though you treat her as a sister, as I have once heard the doctor state, 'she would not trade it, for anything else in the galaxy." Spock raised the sadness in the air without even knowing.

"I think your right Mr. Spock!" Mr. Scott smiled in spite of the ice on his lip.

For a bit without Angel, without the worry, it seemed that the mood on the Enterprise since the discovery of Angel and his relationship was lightening in the slightest.

(Captain Kaol's P.O.V.)

*Transmission Begin*

"Do you have what we wanted?" We had been in wait for quite some time now.

"Yes. It's ready; I just need to be beamed up, soon. It took a lot to get this." He responded.

"Patience my friend. Patience, in this plan is a virtue. We will strike the Enterprise soon, but I wish to have every piece of our plan in its perfect place." My voice was placid.

"Patience is a virtue." He imitated. "But it's best to strike soon, they don't have a member on board." He added

"Oh," he mused, "And who would be missing?" I was rather curious now.

"A girl, the mentalist, the one I told you about."

"Yes. That is very interesting indeed. And just where is she now?"

"Not sure, it's classified, but if I hack in, I think I can check, maybe."

"Then do just that, my trusted spy and servant."

"Aye Captain, servant, and spy, out."

"Captain. Out."

*Transmission end*

**Author's Note: Well I've finally finished my job of taking care of children, so I can devote more of my time to my writing, thank you so very much for allowing me a break! I'm happy I could write this next chapter I hope you enjoyed it!**

Dragon Lover- I'm very, very sorry I kept you waiting! I also feel bad for him! Thank you again for your review

Thank you too Dark Raven Jester, HeavenlyCondemned, and 13 for adding my story to their favorites list; also thank you too HeavenlyCondemned and icecoatedsha for following my story.


	9. Come And Catch Me, My Cat

**Write Our Story: Chapter Nine: Come And Catch Me, My Cat**

(Angel's P.O.V.)

I was being suffocated in ebony. I was so shut up in all of the dark that nothing could come close to do me harm. The ebony was ripping apart my skin and soul. It was intruding me and it was touching me, and it was…it was _raping _me. And for some unknown reason, I didn't want it to stop. I saw so many things in my black prison, I saw betrayal, and hate, and anger, and sadness, and greed, and lust, and pain, so much pain.

_The feral bites of wild hounds excited me and caused my blood to race. My blood pumped harder and harder, my heart worked harder and harder. My eye lids peeled back and my lips curled away, blood trickled then poured from my mouth onto his finger tips and he wrote my name in the obsidian earth before me. _

_The red melted onto the Earth and in a blur we were alone in a bed room. His fingertips were grazing me, touching me, _rubbing _me in places I didn't want to be felt. His teeth pierced my skin and he lapped up the blood like an eager dog. I sighed in pleasure against my whim and I pushed the back of his neck so his teeth would sink deeper into my skin._

_Yes…_

_Right…_

_There…_

_My heart fluttered and my skin was sliced open by his teeth. He took a bite out of my flesh and his mouth curved into a sharp toothed grin. Pieces of my skin were stuck in spaces of his teeth red and bloody. It made my lower half very, very wet. _

"She struggles quite a lot, does she not?" The guard motioned to the female strapped to a chair.

"She only plays strong, she is weak, and the weak are the first to fall." His model companion responded.

"When will the slugs be worried enough to get her back?" The first guard asked.

"We will watch the humans sweat first." Captain Kaol loomed behind the too curious guard.

"Yes…Captain." He answered. "I will not ask-"

"What you do not need to know." The Captain growled out.

"I want to see how the other human is taking his current…situation." The Captain stood tall and menacing.

"You faggot fucks! Let me go! What kind of sick fucking place is this?! Let me go so I can tear that fucking traitor a new one!" The other prisoner yelled.

"Quiet, Slug!" A jab with an electric stick was enough to execute a yelp from the daring human.

_Pain. There was so much pain._

(Spock's P.O.V.)

Spock was beginning to become emotionally compromised, something he had not been since the passing of his mother. Angel his newly treasured female had been gone for longer than two days with no tried communication. Spock had hoped that in some way, perhaps she would contact him in private. He had hoped that in a way he would perhaps be 'Special' and he would have been contacted instead of the others.

But his beloved was completely silent, and this worried him greatly, and it also seemed to worry the doctor, the captain, and Lieutenant Uhrua. The Captain had ordered all communicational waves to be watched, and also all past ones to be witnessed again in hopes that there would somehow be a link to Angel in some way. Spock however was not satisfied by this attempt. He had his _own _ideas on just what could have happened to Angel and he was more than ready to test them.

"Mr. Grayson. The Captain was very frank and also very fair with you. However he was only speaking for his younger sibling. I am speaking for my T'hy'la."

A slight rumbling intake of breath came out of Mr. Grayson.

"And what are you going to do to me you pointy-eared prick?" He dared.

"How the fuck do you even know I did jack shit?" He added.

Spock did not know he had anything to do with Angel's disappearance, but he was relying on something he always had, sheer logic. He had publically embarrassed Angel twice, and he had made it known that Angel's current relationship status greatly angered him. The facts could not and did not lie. Mr. Grayson was direct suspect, and Spock was planning to use all of his resources.

"I am not going to do anything to you Mr. Grayson, it is against my nature, however, I cannot speak the same for my other work associates." Spock turned quietly with his hands behind his back and left Mr. Grayson to debate his options.

(Kirk's P.O.V.)

"Isn't it against regulation to beat the shit out of a suspect?" It was a genuine question.

"Since when did you care about the dam regulation?" Bones yelled with his arms across his chest.

"Science when did the bad boy go good?" Nyota looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

Which only reminded me of Spock, which only reminded me of Angel, which reminded me of this entire...mess. Angel and Spock…Spock and Angel, Sangel and Anock, there were no normal ship names for that were there? Why am I writing a fan fiction in my head?

I sighed, "Look. I just want to do this in the swiftest, easiest, most legal way possible."

"I know, I know; it's blatantly obvious that he had something to do with it, I get it okay, I'm scared for her too, I know, I know, I understand, but just think with me here, for a minute, think. What if he didn't? What if it wasn't him that had anything to do with this?"

No one answered because no one wanted to answer. What if I was right? Then what? Then we had no leads as to where Angel had gone. We would be in deep shit, and we would have to make lemonade with some dam limes at this point.

"Exactly, then what will that make the crew of the Enterprise look like? I want Angel back, and I want her safe. But we need to do this, the right way!"

In a time like this, the last thing I wanted was someone to tell me there was an issue. That was the thing, he didn't tell me there was an issue, but everyone in the room could feel the tension building up and from that point on, we were all waiting for the climax.

"Captain…you've got to see this." Sulu said.

If lines could be graded on how cliché they were, this would deserve a fifty on a scale of one to five. Everyone, no matter what rank they were, or who they were knew just what that meant. We were in for something big, and what we saw…it was something big.

"If you want your little girl alive you will comply to my orders, Captain Kirk." Captain Kaol announced.

"Who the fuck are you to give me orders." My palms were sweating, my fingertips were curling, and my heart was fluttering.

"I'm no one to you yet Captain, but I assure you. I will be the one, to break you."

I could see from the corner of my eye Nyota had her hand on her mouth, and Bones mumbled "Oh, God," to himself. I saw it, Nyota saw it, Pavel saw it, Scotty saw it, and most importantly Spock saw it.

"Please…a…anything to feel like a human again, please, please, I'll let you touch me, I'll give you whatever you want, just kill me, kill me, please, please kill me." Angel couldn't cry, not anymore.

"Well… if this doesn't change your mind Captain. I am not so sure, what will. I'll allow you an hour's time. If you are not ready to obey me, I have many, many more ways to let the girl suffer." The transmission ended.

I didn't want to lose Angel, but at this point, I also didn't want to lose Spock, but I had started to think that I was too late.

"Spock! Spock! Listen to me! She'll be okay! She's strong!" Nyota screamed and screamed and yelled and yelled with tears in her eyes, and then tears streaming down her face, but did she really believe what she said?

Spock was yet again, emotionally compromised. If there was one thing I knew about Spock is that he was an ocean. He was placid, calm, and tranquil, but the things that impacted him, everything around him it fed a little undersea fire in him and sometimes…Spock just needed to burst.

"Spock! Listen to me, god dammit Spock, Spock. Spock! Listen to me you pointy-eared bastard, listen to me! Look at me!" I raved.

In a case of a meltdown from Spock the worst and the best thing to do was to touch him. I was impulsive just like I had been before, so I touched him. I grabbed him and I refused to let go. When Spock was angry I realized just how big he really was, he was a terrifying mass of blood red rage. Even so I ran straight up into that anger and I did everything I could to make him stop.

"I don't get it okay! I don't! I don't understand what it's like to love someone to this extent, to this insane extent, and this beautiful extent, I don't know how it's hurting you inside, I don't know what this feels like, I don't know if it's a slow pain or if it's a quick pain and then you go numb but what I do know is that Angel is hurt, and getting mad, getting upset, okay it may help at first, but in the end that's not going to have her back on board this ship or in your arms. Spock. I will do anything I can to get Angel back, anything in my power; I will get all of Star Fleet at his door, the whole federation. I will move a building for her and for you Spock. But you need to calm down, I can't lose you like I did when your mother passed away, I can't, I need you here, not locked up in the clouds debating who you are again. Spock I need you to always be right, and I need you have the best answers, I need you right now Spock and Angel needs you too!" I was panting and I was suddenly really tired.

I didn't realize I had a split lip until I tasted metallic liquid on my tongue but that wasn't important right now. Spock really was an ocean, and I had finally guided my ship to its safer tides. Being with Bones all the time was starting to really rub off on me what with all of his dam metaphors.

"I… do not want to comply with our disputant for the good of the ship…and yet…I wish to, for the safety, of Angel." Spock said after I spent a long trek around my thoughts.

"Spock I know, but we need to think we need to think calmly, and make a plan. Spock. I promise you, I will get Angel back aboard this ship." I wasn't sure, if it would be dead, or alive.

"Thank you Captain… Thank you…Jim." He answered.

"Don't go soft on me Spock, come on." I smirked a little.

Nyota, stepped in behind Spock and I in the elevator. Sometimes I really wandered why people took Spock so lightly. It was obvious Nyota hadn't been prepared for an outburst quite like this. Before all of Spock's anger had been targeted at me, this time however it was targeted at anything and everything.

Once in the debriefing room I had the Spock I knew very well come back.

"Weigh our options Mr. Spock."

"Our aspirant has granted us an hour to make our decision. We now however after our…set back… has left us with forty-four minutes and thirteen seconds. Our decision is to follow his lead, or our mentalist Miss Grey will be terminated, slowly. We do not have a solid lead in Mr. Grayson but I believe he would know something."

"He has too." Nyota softly chimed in.

"Even so Lieutenant, I am not completely sure that I am correct… I can be…wrong." Spock paused for a moment.

Angel must be doing something right I mused, because it's a big step for Spock to show any signs of regret for his decisions or for what he says or for what he believes.

"However there are no other leads to Angel's whereabouts." Spock finished.

"We're working in a dead end with a blindfold on." I rubbed my eyes with my first figner and thumb.

"Why the Hell am I still using metaphors?"

(Bones' P.O.V.)

I didn't like it at all. Angel mysteriously disappearing right after she purposely left. It didn't add up, so I took it into my own hands to check. Granted, yes, I should be in my Med-bay right about now, however, I'm the Chief Medical Officer, and if anyone asked me why I was here, well they wouldn't forget that dam tittle.

I had heard our deadline. It was only an hour but something had gone down on the bridge so that left us only with forty-five minutes to go. Just what had set us back, I had a few little guesses and each one had to do with our green blooded and very hot blooded first officer. I was sure of one thing, Spock was most likely emotionally compromised and some part of me felt bad for him.

I had been wrong. Spock really did know the things Love could drive a man too, and right now he was feeling one of the worst pains of his entire life. Even 'without' emotions he felt the throbbing in his weirdly placed heart. I knew once you hit that rock bottom, there was not a lot to do to save you. All you could do was ride out the storm and hope for the best.

That's what I had done with Jocelyn and that's what I had tried to do with Athena when her, the beautiful, beautiful wide eyed and innocent girl he was falling so hard for was planning to go on a date with Jocelyn's brother. When she was away I felt horrible, like I did now that he had thought about her. But she… wasn't the important thing right now,

_Oh Athena, _I thought, _forgive me for saying that my darling…where ever you may be, God bless you. _I had to get my head back in the game right now, and the game now was chasing Angel down to the end of space and back if we had too.

I wasn't really sure what I was searching for; I was just looking for anything suspicious I suppose, anything to give a hint to just where Angel went. I found the time she had left but just where she had gone was completely, classified. I didn't have access nor did I have the knowledge to hack into the data base. Hell, I'm a doctor not systems engineer. However I then realized that in no way did I need to be.

(Kirk's P.O.V.)

"Nothing, she didn't give any indication of just where she was going?" I asked for the fifth time.

"Nothing Sir, I'd tell ye' if I knew, but I don't." Scotty responded again for the fifth time.

"Jim! Jim! Jim!" Bones came running into my room and I got wind of just what Pavel must have looked like when he was bolting threw the hall.

"Bones what the Hell is so important you came running in-"

"Someone left after Angel." Bones cut me off with a gleam in his eyes.

"Explain good doctor." Spock completely cut me out of the conversation and gave Spock a look a Captain would give his crew member.

"I'm not sure who, but someone left directly after Angel. About three minutes directly after her, someone left, and their location was classified! They had to have followed her to where ever she was goin' which means they had to have known!" Bones was hollering a little, he did that when he was happy.

"What are we going to do? Go through every single person to see who's here and who's not?" Nyota at this point was our realist.

"No, Mr. Grayson was present in engineering at all times." Spock stated.

"We've got progress crew, now it's all out strategy. We need to find who left and find out now." I said.

It was a race against time, and I was determined now to make our new opponent eat his own shit.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

_French kisses, fangs, chocolate and blood, lipstick, kisses, lungs. When mama tried to end me she used a bloody needle, that bloody needle made daddy angry but daddy never said anything. He just showed his anger in other ways, like beating her when she didn't do a good job. Maybe only daddy loved me, but when I was five daddy promised to hold onto my bike. He didn't and I fell, daddy thought I was ready but I wasn't._

_I wasn't ready now but I let him touch me, I let his filthy hands touch me and he made me call him daddy. He shoved his tongue down my throat but it tasted yummy, He bought me to a room and there he clipped my wings, again, and again, and he made me whimper and call him master. If I didn't behave he spanked me, but I liked getting spanked, don't tell daddy, then he'll stop it if I like it. _

**Author's Note: Well this chapter was dark on Angel's side, I was thinking of changing the rating to M, should I? You tell me.**

Eymris Grayson- Thank you so much! That means so much to me that you said that you're so sweet!

Dragon lover- I'm glad you think so! I hope this next chapter is to your liking

HeavenlyCondemned- Your review meant a lot to me, it really did. To hear that from you really keeps me working as hard as I can.

Thank you to Neese96, LittleMissPeetaMellark, and ccanne for following my story; also thank you too LittleMissPeetaMellark and Kicki von Berger for adding my story to their favorite stories list.


	10. I Have A Home In Silence

**Write Our Story: Chapter Ten: I Have A Home In Silence**

(Angel's P.O.V.)

As the seconds dripped and minutes dragged my own mind became my entertainment. I was creeping through consciousness and dancing on reality. I understood where I was, but I didn't _know _where I was. I was in the dark, I knew only that. However as I wandered through my memories in my deep subconscious something kept me warm with its radiance. That one thing was Spock. As alone as I was I could hear his whispers. If I would allow myself some peace, and I would close my eyes I could smell him, taste him, and feel him. He was right before me holding my waist and mumbling things I couldn't understand.

It fueled my happiness, my sadness and also my anger. I knew all of this wasn't who I was. I knew I had friends…a…family I suppose, and I knew what Spock meant to me, but who I was... I almost didn't understand. I was a mentalist and I worked on a ship that prowled around space. But was I coward? Was I smart? Was I cruel? Was I an alcoholic? Did I ever cheat on Spock? Who was I? Who was Angel Grey? Most importantly why was I named Angel? Everyone earned their name sake.

_Everyone earned their namesake._

"_I can understand how it hurts." My voice was tender._

"_Miss Grey… I do not wish to…to…" He was panting and he wasn't focused._

"_I'm not sure how it hurt… I can't know that pain because I've never experienced that pain, but Spock. I don't care if you don't believe in God, I don't care if you believe in science, I don't care if you don't even believe in life itself. It happened, for a reason Spock. All of this, yes, all of this Hell, all of the Hell in space, it happened for a reason. I like to believe that's why we were named. To see just how all of this Hell with affect us and shape are personalities. So we can show just who we are…so we can earn our namesake. Whether Vulcan, or Human, Spock the world, space, the galaxy, it will continue to move, babies will be born, people will die, diseases will spread, wars will end, and as much as it seems that Hell has taken control, you're not finished until you've earned your namesake." I was sitting next to him now because even then…I didn't want to let him go. _

"_She was all I had." I almost heard him stutter._

"_And now, explain to Nero, how much she meant to you." I softly said to him. _

_I didn't add anymore to what I had to say. Spock didn't need to be held, he just needed to be let go. I just couldn't let him sit and rot with his emotions. I couldn't just let him be a prisoner of his own device. So I gave him the best advice I got from a heartfelt movie._

_Earn your name sake. _

I shuddered and my breath caught in my throat, I saw Spock and I alone, together, and it felt wonderful. I felt…alive which is what I haven't felt in such a long while. I lived for Spock, and I lived under what ever had captured me. My only light wasn't real because some small realistic part of me forced me to wander if this man I was dreaming of. My so called 'Lover' Spock was real.

This could have all been a fantasy a sweet reverie I was lost in but did I really want to get out of it? I felt secure around the man I was dreaming of so why break the spell?

(Kirk's P.O.V.)

It didn't take as long as we had expected. Whoever had followed Angel was sloppy, very sloppy and they didn't cover their tracks as well. I had to keep in mind the person that could have followed Angel could have been someone very significant to the ship and it also could have been every other average cadet, medical staff, or engineer aboard the ship.

Soon enough however we found out that the person who had left right after Angel had left their destination classified. Though their classification could be easily overruled because they weren't a part of my main crew, I found that it had indeed been a cadet that had followed Angel.

This cadet though had such promise, such a sweet demeanor, he was just a baby aboard the Enterprise, young and new and full of promise even if he had to whip his concentration back into shape.

Cadet Alexander Grace was a mild mannered averagely intelligent boy with a heart of gold and a demeanor that included loyalty and honesty. Just why he could do this, just why he could have been the one to capture Angel and now bring the entire Enterprise to such a state of panic genuinely fascinated me.

I couldn't fathom any reason to break down to such a state of hatred or rage towards Angel to push him to try and hurt her to lead her to such torture. It made me mad but it also made me sad. Mad because I couldn't have known sooner he hated Angel in this way that he would sell her out to these things, to these barbarians. Sad because of the potential he had, sad because of the thing she could have accomplished and sad because when we brought him back as a prisoner against Star Fleet his entire life would be down a bottomless abyss.

The job as a captain could bring you such joy, such endless happiness, grand opportunities, excitement, a feeling of detachment but also unity, a family, fun, and love, but all of that could come smashing down with hatred, anger, betrayal, lying, rage, displeasure, agony, depression, loneliness, failure, hurt, and sadness, so, much sadness. There were times when my heart was heavy, yes when I, the play boy Captain Kirk was sad because for every friend of the federation for every good memory I was somehow dragged down to the brink of madness because I somehow ruined one man, one woman, one _child's _life with my acts of 'goodness.' And for that I wandered just what it meant to be wearing a badge of a Star Fleet officer.

Yes, the job of a captain was a weary one.

(Spock's P.O.V.)

Two years. Seventeen thousand five-hundred thirty-one point six hours; one million fifty-one thousand two hundred minutes; Sixty-three million seven hundred and twenty thousand seconds. In this amount of time Spock should have seen the inevitable. He should have foreseen his attraction towards Angel and the inexorable betrayal of Mr. Grace. In this time Spock should have already had Mr. Grace off of the ship. In this time Mr. Grace should have been finding a way to support himself far away from the ship, Star Fleet, and Space all together.

Spock was performing quite inadequately. If he could not have foreseen the kidnapping of his beloved Angel then what use was he to the ship? Spock was a Vulcan; Spock should have known these happenings and his failure to realize these happenings left him exceedingly irritated. Irritated that this man had bested him in masking his true intentions and irritated him that it had been his treasured he had taken. In the back of Spock's mind however there was still a nagging angry, brutish form that was bombarding his thoughts and the form belonged to that of Mr. Grayson.

There was still tension towards him and Spock would not be letting what he had done to hurt Angel go any farther then it had currently. When he had the time there would be more words spoken with Mr. Grayson and perhaps he would even get him off of the ship cleanly and swiftly.

Spock now had nothing more he could do, and nothing more he could think of, the only person now on his mind was his beloved, his treasured, his T'hy'la, his Angel. His Angel that had flown just too far from his arms and had been drawn in and entangled in the darkness, he had done all he could to push her, painstakingly, from his thoughts. With her on his mind and the vision of her hurt and alone caused him great distress and his only outlet to said distress was anger and violent outburst. He could not break again; he had made a promise to the Captain and also a promise to himself.

Now however he was alone, even with their time drawing to a close Spock was compelled to be alone, alone with his thoughts of Angel and in some sickening way if he could imagine her, she would be with him, in his arms and all would be correct in the world and his treasure would be safe at last. Spock silently made the long walk to his quarters and once he was alone in his room he did not bother to find a logical seat.

He sat on the floor leaning against the door and quietly counted the shades of blue and the shades of grey that made up Angel's eyes. He thought of her as her guard would drop only once or twice occasionally around t lieutenant Uhura and around Miss Chapel when a small impish smile would cross over her delicate lips and he knew she was content.

He wandered just how the rest of the crew aboard the Enterprise would handle Spock's newfound relationship with Angel. Onboard the ship yes there were as the doctor put it 'Star Crossed Lovers' however no deep relationships were never very brought up in light. Spock did not look forward to being one of the first relationships to be exploited and yet he knew it would happen.

Thinking of his Angel in this state bought him great sadness and yet he could not bear to separate his thoughts from her. He shut his eyes and imagined her with him, close to him, her fingers against his cheek and his against her waist; he could smell her delectable sent and taste the sweetness of her lips.

"_Love me Spock…Just…Love…Me." _So very delectable.

"_Keep me Spock…please…keep…me." _So very tantalizing.

It was Angel's voice in his mind and while it had shocked him, he was also very, very calm and very mesmerized by her voice and he could not bear to move or to even breathe.

"_Come find me Spock, I need you…" _So enchanting.

"_I'm so lost…" _So compelling.

Subconsciously he heard the _other _voices also, rough and speaking a language he understood very loosely. He heard vociferating and he sensed great pain. He felt the pain his T'hy'la was experiencing and he felt the pain of another being. He felt the rage and the heartless power of the other voices and for a moment, only a brief moment he saw his love alone and quiet as a sleeping Angel would lay in peace. However she was troubled and her lips were parted slightly and he knew deeply inside she was hurting, hurting in ways he could not fully understand.

"_So…much…pain." _So frightened…

(Andrew's P.O.V.)

I've had some time to think about my current situation. And from what I heard through the very, very tiny crack in the door is that Angel's been kidnapped. I had also heard that I was prime target. It was fully obvious that it had been me, wasn't it? My temper had gotten the best of me and yet again I looked like a predator… a blood thirsty lion that was preying on a weak innocent gazelle. Angel wasn't weak in any way shape or form and one part of me didn't care fully that she was gone.

She was a big girl, a strong girl that could handle herself and yet another part of me wanted her back safe and sound… another part of me wanted my girl home. The darling wide eyed little girl that walked down the alter in a laced ivory gown and told me she wanted me through the bad and through the good. But I had lied myself, I didn't want her through the bad and the food, I didn't want her through any of it. And yet after a little I grew to appreciate her and I debated keeping her around. But in the blaze of the rage and the anger I threw her away and I didn't look back.

And even now, I don't regret it. The appreciation I had for her was gone, but I needed her back and well to live another day and to not be the guy who had made her suffer before the lord almighty claimed her back into his kingdom. My oh my what a Jack ass I would look like then.

(Kirk's P.O.V.)

My first officer was very shaken when he arrived, well, he didn't seem shaken but spending this amount of time with Spock a Vulcan… I had learned to seek out emotions in his eyes. This applied to all Vulcans…Hell it applied to people in general. Spock it seemed, had seen things he didn't want to see, and with our clock ticking I needed to seek him out before we went through with our as usual risky plan. I couldn't afford risks at this point but just as well as this plan could work, it could fail and I could fail, and people would die, and lives would be ruined.

"Spock do you know anything you'd like to tell me?" It was always best to ask Spock a question in his favor; leave everything up to him.

"Captain I have heard and seen Angel. I am not sure if this is due to the amount of…stress that caused me to become emotionally compromised or if…if I have truly heard her. I am not sure how we have a mental bond capable to withstand the strain of contact, enough for me to hear and see her it is almost I believe…'Too good to be true.'"

I needed to think as quickly as I could at this point, could this help us? What could this do to benefit us, what could this do to screw us over. I couldn't ask Spock to weigh our options not now.

"Once onboard play a hot or cold game using that…mental bond, use it to our advantage." I responded.

Deep down inside I was doing a sun-dance begging whatever God was up there to keep this in our favor.

"Captain, they're hailing us." Nyota's voice was weary.

"He wants to chat…let's chat, open the communication lines." I sat down in my chair.

The game board was set.

"Captain. I have granted you your time. I do pray you have reached a decision." The snarling tone he used sickened me.

"We're at your command…Captain. What are your orders?" I held eye contact.

"That was very quick Captain. I had expected more from you, but a man that knows defeat, is a smart man indeed. I want your ship and I also want your Vulcan officer, your communications officer, and you aboard my ship. No weapons and no surprises."

"No weapons and no surprises." I echoed.

One chance, in our favor; the team I needed was coming with me aboard the ship. Lady Luck was smiling down on me tonight…or maybe it was God, which ever it was, I praise it.

"Excellent Captain. I look forward to your arrival."

"End of transmission, sir." Nyota said softly.

We kept quiet and grim expressions. We knew the plan, the first phase of it was underway there was no more of a need to discuss it and yet I was worried, Nyota was worried, and Spock…he was anxious, that much was obvious.

"It is a pleasure, Captain Kirk to welcome you aboard my humble ship." The first thing I recall about the ship was that it was dark.

It was dark and there was a heavy scent in the air of blood and torture and just pure displeasure.

"Angel can't join us right now but I assure you we'll visit her soon enough."

"I'm not interested in anything else but Angel, Captain, I'd like to see her safe and sound, now." I wasn't in a position to ask.

But I was hoping he'd humor me.

"But of course Captain, what a…valiant last request." His voice was joyous.

_Last request _those words always left a bitter taste on my tongue. I knew what he wanted to do, but I was hoping that right now there were Klingon officers aboard my ship and two were easily being apprehended and two would be ready to come back aboard to finish what we had started.

(Spock's P.O.V.)

Spock would not focus not in any way. His mind was tirelessly and achingly listening to the soft singing and moaning of his beloved. With every step his furor was begging to be released and his task of pin-pointing the exact location of Angel was floating farther and farther away from his mind. Angel's voice was just above a whisper and yet it felt as if it was encompassing him completely. The long trek to wherever it was that the Klingon was leading them was walked as if Spock was possessed or perhaps if he was…asleep.

Spock saw her, a beautiful and lovely wisp of air and shadow fluttering about him, brushing against his hand, his cheek, and his lips. Her voice was statuesque and yet it still resembled a painfully solitary apparition that would not leave Spock for a moment of peace. And yet he wanted it in that way so he could know she was still there, she was still taking in air, her heart was beating, her eyes were blinking, her blood was pumping and everything was as it should be.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

I knew Spock was close to me, I knew my lover and the man I lived for was close to me. I could sense him; I could _feel_ him in the air around me. Every breath I took, I took for him and with every sigh I felt him reaching towards me to hold and to love me I felt like I was home.

If he could just reach closer and I would reach and we would touch and I would feel his warmth and he would bring me back to life. I would taste the real air and feel the moonlight glowing on my skin.

He was my everything, my force of life because he fed me; he nurtured me with his love. I couldn't release I couldn't succumb to the dark hole before me until I felt him close to me.

It frightened me that I loved him so much… if frightened me that I loved someone who I could barely understand. It gave me a chill up my spine but it released all the tension in my mind.

It frightened me

And yet it excited me.

**Author's Note: I'm proud of this chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it.**

Zabauzas Girl- Here's your update! I hope you liked it.

Fandomenforcer- I changed it and I'm glad I did! Thank you very much for saying that and we'll see in time.

Thank you too dark1988, and embermoonlight for following me, also thank you too ShyxSkater, embermoonlight, kittie17, and dark1988, for following my story; also thank you too to dark1988, ShyxSkater, embermoonlight, squidkid137, and ZabuzasGirl for adding my story to their favorite stories list and thank you too embermoonlight for adding me to her favorite authors list.


	11. My Kingdom Come, Allow Me To Be Done

**Write Our Story: Chapter Eleven: My Kingdom Come, Allow Me To Be Done**

(Mr. Grace's P.O.V.)

I was sorry. I was feeling sorry for myself, and also for Angel. I was feeling completely ashamed and I was mad as Hell. I just couldn't help myself; I let it eat me completely alive. My feeling towards her over powered me completely.

When I saw her…

_Simply hypnotic his lips were cool to the tantalizing touch; hers were tender and warm and filled with secret passion and burning want that had flown quietly beneath the two of them for far too long._

Kissing...

_He couldn't resist touching her, feeling her small frame before his and gradually pull her closer to his chest, to his heart. He felt like snow beneath her finger tips, fresh snow that she so badly wanted to touch and also so badly wanted to preserve._

That… thing…

_Air didn't exist, they were beings of pure energy that could overlap, and mix, and entwine through their movements in the wonderful art that is kissing. It was a pure and then again not so pure kiss for the two. Her lips were anything but pure as they had spent a year tasting the wrong person before she met Spock._

It just made my world… freeze over. Nothing else mattered any more, and I mean nothing. Of course she ran through my mind all the time, she was my desperate crush. Her scent lingered in my way too imaginative mind, and yet she became… an obsession. A very unhealthy obsession, if she didn't love me, then she'd suffer for it. I just wanted her to see who really loved her and I thought they could help her see that.

So I threw my entire life out the window. She was my drug, and she kept me going every second of every step I took to destroying my career in Star Fleet all for some sick twisted desire of mine to get her to notice me. I kicked the floor. Some life I had, how many guys go insane for the love of their lives and fuck up so bad they end up in jail. Oh yeah there were a term for those guys, they were called rapist.

Today was most definitely not my day. Then again it hadn't been my day for what… two days now, I think…maybe? By now there was no doubt that the Captain had found out it was me that had followed Angel It wasn't so difficult to find out where she was going, she had left in such a haste that she didn't mark her location as classified, so I did it for her… and I followed her to the Church she was heading to. I still wasn't sure why she was going to a church.

What was she hoping to find there? Jesus Christ? The Holy Spirit? God guiding her somewhere? I wasn't an atheist but… I wasn't a very... religious person. I mean on a ship…living this life… God never really stays in your mind, but from what I can sort of recall God can work miracles and he can turn your life around. I leaned my head back on the wall of my cell.

"Okay God… I give myself to thee." I said to well…God.

I wasn't sure what I was doing. I was out of options. I was a sad pile of shit in the cell of a Klingon War-Bird after being betrayed by the people I promised to help after I cracked after I saw the girl of my dreams making out with the guy I hated. Not much more could go wrong.

The main door to the room where I was located opened thanks to Karma.

Well apparently more _could _go wrong.

"And here is the…the Captain's sweet, Captain Kirk, I'm sure you and your crew will be very comfortable, _please _do not hesitate to inform me if you're in need of anything." I tried not to look like the Jack-Ass that betrayed the ship.

The Captain and Lieutenant Uhura were pushed into the empty cell next to me that smelled like rotted meat. And lucky, oh lucky, lucky, lucky me was greeted by the one man I hated, and at this point I feared Mr. Spock.

"Don't Kill me." The words tumbled from my mouth pretty easily, and oh look there goes my dignity.

I've never seen the look Spock gave me from anyone in my entire life. He looked… I can barely describe… he looked…bloody thirsty. And with my simply 'Finest in the Fleet' hand to hand combat training Spock had his hands around my neck in a simple matter of seconds.

"Kill you." I could smell the malice in his breath.

"For what you have done to the ship; for what you have done to its crew; for what you have done to my T'hy'la, death does not suit you, Svik (Vulcan Translation: Traitor)."

"Spock, don't you dare do this." Nyota squinted to see Spock in the darkness.

I heard Mr. Spock growl in response just barely, I was losing oxygen but I was straining to hear the one human being who actually didn't want me to die.

"It hurts Spock, I know it does. You don't know where Angel is. How do you think I feel? I miss her, and I'm worried about her and I don't know if we're bringing her home dead or alive and I know you're looking at him right now and all you want to do is take your revenge early but Spock you aren't a killer. I know you're not, you're a pacifist, and as much as I love you're showing emotion for Angel and proving you do love her, don't do this for her, Angel wouldn't want you to do this."

I was relieved someone gave a shit about me, so, so relieved and I was waiting for the Lieutenant to work some magic and get him to let me go.

"Spock…please." Her voice was incautious.

Haltingly, he let me go and I struggled to get enough air to go back from blue to Irish-man pale.

"Don't you think you've escaped death's grip Alex! At any chance I get, if you cross me I'm going to be the one to rip your dick off and sew it onto your ass!" She raged.

I was silent at first.

"Did you hear _me_?!" She cried.

"Yes!" I responded.

Ah yes I was in some deep shit, the Captain for all this time was silent.

"These walls are Anthracite." I heard him say in a faraway tone.

Is that what I sounded like?

"Why does that matter?" The Lieutenant asked.

"Of course it matters." Spock said with realization in his voice.

"The beam of a Klingon weapon known as a Painstik which is used to inflict pain for submissive and ritualistic purposes is strong enough to-"

"Make a bomb…my God it can make a bomb." The Lieutenant interrupted.

"Indeed."

"Then we'll play dead." The Captain was up now, up and about and ready for the plan that was forming before him.

"Play dead?" I inquired.

"The one on table that's closest to the wall, if we bang on the walls hard enough it will fall then the chemical reaction should take its place, the commotion will bring them in… Captain Kaol wants us alive until further notice if we play dead, the guards will be curious and they'll come close to our cell, don't move until you're sure you can apprehend them." The captain ignored me, hey no surprise there I am a red-shirt, and a traitor. But I still had a horrible feeling about this plan.

"Then let us begin." Spock stood up.

I expected this to take at least five minutes.

Wrong.

With Mr. Spock's god dam Vulcan washboard abs type strength he knocked that mother fucking Painstik onto the floor. I immediately recalled my skinny Irish-boy physique and inwardly cringed. I'm so fucking awkward I just can't even anymore.

It seemed to take ages for it to roll over to the cell even though in reality it was only ten seconds. The explosion shook the cage drastically and of course I fell over, I hit my head pretty hard on the wall and my vision began to swim for a little bit. Spock 'Fell' to my right and it wasn't long until a herd of angry Klingons came in barking orders. I blinked tiredly and tried to tilt my head to look at Spock he was motionless.

Completely immobile, he lay there in eerie…peace and quiet. Until a guard came within a centimeter of his grasp, then, he was automatically Bruce Lee and he made a Klingon, a warrior, a man trained wit soul crushing grueling pain, terrified.

He became an animal. That was the best way to describe it, I was a little fuzzy on Vulcan history, but I vaguely remembered they were unmerciful blood-thirsty warriors at some point apparently long before the Klingons could scramble down to almost…copy them. Klingons resembled early Vulcans, wasn't that so…dam…weird?

(Spock's P.O.V)

Spock was not ashamed to say his enmity got the best of him. In that moment, when he realized he was free to release the monster known as choler, He allowed it consume him. He knew the Captain would not force him to stop, he knew the Lieutenant would also understand, and so he allowed himself to become lost in the intoxicating power of anger.

"Rislauk stislax ri wi manik oek ha'kiv!" (Vulcan Translation: Foul Monster not worthy of life) He roared.

Every word was filled with venom and ever punch was harder, and deadlier, and filled with more and more rage. He wanted to draw each moment of the Klingon's torment out, and yet, he wanted to end him, quickly and swiftly and still in the most painful manner.

"Guhsh Aushfa!" (Vulcan Translation: Worthless animal) He thundered.

The Klingon implored for benevolence and for his life, Spock was however too concerned however with making him bleed. Spock did not cease, He could not cease until He saw his blood stain the earth, and his blood stain his fingertips. And even then Angel would not have been avenged; his mere life could never repay for the pain his treasured.

"Nehaya Kre'nath!" (Vulcan Translation: Rot Bastard)He shouted.

It felt wonderful to Spock, absolutely wonderful to watch the animal before him suffer. It was indescribable the emotions Spock was feeling. Tranquility, Joy, Hatred, Thrill, Anger, Frustration, and passion; such a deep, deep passion for death, an understanding of love, it was almost musical; it was a high, a new high Spock had never reached.

He couldn't stop, he enjoyed it far too much, he was running on adrenaline and reaching the sky, the moon, the sun, the stars, the next galaxy, he was reaching heaven, and hell, and purgatory, he was reaching his highest point and inside he felt every blood cell moving through his skin, he felt the particles in the air he breathed in through his lungs, he felt it all, and he enjoyed it.

(Angel's P.O.V)

I had a cat one, a beautiful, beautiful charcoal cat with the most invigorating emerald eyes. This cat, as insane as it may seem taught me life. She taught me life as it was, as it was supposed to be, and how it deserved to be. She taught me life was a lady and nature was a man, she taught me about the man in the moon, and the woman in the sun. She taught me about the water that sleeps underground and the water that sleeps up in the clouds. She taught me most significantly who I was.

And now, I looked for my cat once again, I was horribly lost, and I knew my cat could set me free. My cat in life I realized hadn't died. No she was very much alive; she was alive in everyone I met. Nyota… a woman I was finally remembering taught me the night, another woman, my friend named Christine taught me the day, another man taught me about the ground by the name of Scotty, and another man taught me about the sky by the name of Jim.

They taught me in their own ways through their philophies of life. And another thing they taught me is that I was who I set out to be. It wasn't my past that defined me, it was my actions, it was not my thoughts that defined me, but my words that defined me. It was the enemies I vanquished that defined me, it was how I vanquished them that defined me.

They taught me I could make a mistake, I could be so, so, so wrong and still come out clean. They taught me that the wisest was not he older man, but the younger girl that had made a mistake and changed her perspective.

I learned life wasn't black, or white, or grey, it was whatever color I painted it. And most importantly, I learned I was a baby. I was a baby who had just begun her life in the world being only twenty-one years old. I was a baby in a circle of men and women who had learned before me, talked before me, walked before me, men and women who had lived years, and will still continue to live after me.

I was a baby living with younger babies; I was a baby living with old women and old men. I was not dimwitted however, I had not unimportant, no I was as important as everyone around me led to be, and finally, finally, finally once I unlocked this door, I finally awakened. I was no longer surrounded by shrewish nightmares, I was surrounded by my own mind, and I controlled my own mind.

And I wanted to find the love of my life, my Vulcan, the man who kept me as his treasured, as his beloved as his T'hy'la the man they called Spock.

(Kirk's P.O.V)

I didn't want to stop Spock, and yet I did. I wanted him to get at the Klingon shit for being involved in all of this, I wanted to cheer him on, Hell I wanted to get my own Klingon punching bag and have at it. But another part of me, the Captain part of me knew that… he had to stop, it knew this wasn't Spock really…it was a rage and a lust for blood mask Spock was wearing. So I took my first step to helping him, to getting him to stop.

A shot ended the life of the Klingon Spock was planning to end with another blow.

"Now that I have your attention, here is the finish you have _all _been expecting." He was holding Angel, the mad man, the Klingon was holding Angel.

A disruptor shot to the brain could kill you instantly, it's very, very, _very _rare if you survive and the typical survivors were shot from far away. A shot so close to the skull, to the brain, a shot at the temple will blow her brain and kill her immediately; there would be absolutely no chance for her to live. We would be carrying home a dead and horribly mangled Angel to receive a Star Fleet burial, the finest honor we could give her.

"Why so silent? Come now Captain Kirk, I had expected a word from you, or perhaps you Miss Uhura?!" He was smart.

It was obvious he was, he knew he had put Spock over the edge, he knew Spock would be distracted with a guard, he knew Uhura and I would be too caught up paying attention to Spock, he knew Angel would be easy for the taking, he was prepared, he was prepared for _everything_.

"Don't listen to him; whatever you do in _God's _name don't listen to him." I'd never heard Angel refer to God, ever in her entire service to the Enterprise.

_She was a good girl_ I thought in my head, _one of the best_ I was preparing a death speech already… I'd never felt so…desperate, I'd never been so done with everything in my entire life. I just couldn't see, what could I do to reason with a mad man.

"What do you want?" It was Spock who started to talk.

"What do I want?" He pantomimed

"He wants to know what I want my sweet." His lips were against her ear and easily, his tongue glided up her cheek.

"I want you to watch her suffer."

_Our father_

_Who art in heaven_

_Hallow be thy name_

_Thy kingdom come,_

_Thy will be done._

I was out of ideas, what more could I do?

**Author's Note: Well I enjoyed writing this chapter, until then updates WILL be the same as they are now, but once September Fourth begins, updates will go from ever five days to ever ****TEN**** (10) days.**

Fandomenforcer- I hope this chapter gave you what you wanted!

Thank you to xLyraCharlottex who added my story to her Story Alert list


	12. For You My Darling, I Breathe

**Write Our Story: Chapter Twelve: For You My Darling I Breathe**

(Angel's P.O.V.)

I could feel every ounce of Spock's passion for me; and in his eyes I could see every demon he had battled, I could see every painful memory returning to him of abandonment. Spock was a disfigured man inside his soul, he was hurt in so many ways; he was made of glass. Easily broken glass and in that moment I didn't fear for my life, I feared what would become of the child of two worlds. I had spent so long forcing myself to pick apart every basic idea of emotion I had once I met Spock. Looking into his eyes, looking into my lover's eyes, I saw the hatred and the passion Love drove him too. I saw myself, and I saw all the hope we had for our love. And I was so, so terrified to leave Spock alone.

"Little girl, what a stupid little girl to run from the ship to grant us such…such a wonderful chance to break the Captain." His tongue nearly grazed my ear.

"What a coward to run from her problems, a dumb small child that now belongs to me, how does it feel my dear to be the slave and to gaze upon your new master."

It felt like shit. I felt like shit, my world, my entire world was going to end and I wasn't sure what more I could do, I wanted to explain somehow to Spock, in any way how much I adored him, how much I loved him, how much I needed him. I spoke a silent prayer for Spock, a silent prayer to God to protect him and so hopefully for him to love again; and yet I didn't want him to love again, a childish and selfish part of me didn't want him to call anyone else his T'hy'la.

"It must feel like shit." My eyes drifted to him. The cadet I had never felt so much hate…and so much appreciation for.

He killed him with shaking hands. Hands that told me it had been his first kill, the first life he had taken, the first being he had stolen from a job, a life, a family, the first being he had taken from the world.

I can't explain what happened in the next few minutes, all I could honestly register was Spock's arms around me and the beautifully sad eyes of Mr. Grace. God I didn't even know my savior's first name. My savior and the man who had brought me to Hell, a demon with angel's wings, a bloody Angel.

"Get out." He said.

"What?" Was all Kirk could say.

"Get out. He has a bomb on the ship, I'm going to try to disable it long enough to let you guys get out. Go." He responded.

"I don't give a shit if you're a traitor to Star Fleet, to Angel, come with us!" Kirk yelled.

Kirk wasn't one to give up without a fight; I was sure he noticed that Mr. Grace wasn't changing his mind, and yet, he continued.

"You're hurt, they hurt you did they not?" Spock's finger tips were in my hair and he was staring at me with a deep, dark, brown-eyed gaze.

And yet I didn't hear a single word he said, I was staring at Mr. Grace, the man who had saved me, the man who had fallen in love with me, the man's who heart I had broken. The man who Spock especially couldn't tolerate, the man who had betrayed the Enterprise and Star Fleet, the man who had betrayed me, I hated the look of him and yet at that moment I worshipped him.

(Mr. Grace's P.O.V.)

I wasn't playing any games, not any more. The ship was going to explode, this wasn't a fucking video game; people were going to die…Angel was going to die. After all of this, all the Hell loving one girl had caused, I loved her still, I loved her harder, I wanted her harder and I knew I would be craving her harder for time to come. And so I was prepared to make the sacrifice every cadet took. The promise that no one thought they would ever have to fulfill. I grew up in that moment. I grew up in ways I can't explain.

I wasn't the lover boy anymore. I was fighting for the girl I really, truly, and purely loved. I was fighting for the girl that I wanted so badly, but I couldn't have. The girl that I would die to protect and die to see her happy, and I knew, I completely understood that Spock would make her happy.

I wasn't getting a kiss for this, this wasn't a movie, this wasn't a television show, this wasn't a play, this wasn't a book, and this most certainly wasn't a crappy fanfiction some miserable angst teen was writing. This was my life, my shitty life, and I was terrified to sacrifice myself, I didn't want to do it. I wanted another chance at my life, at my job, and at Angel. I didn't have another chance, so I was dam sure I would leave this world, this God shit world, with a bang.

Not many crew members get the opportunity to push their captain.

"Jim, with all due respect get the fuck off the ship."

I won't lie it felt good to say those words to the man who was the figure head of authority whether he liked it or not.

"We won't let you die God dammit kid don't be a Hero!" He was yelling now; traitor or not he wanted to bring everyone home.

As much as the Captain wanted to grab me, to shake some sense into me, to yell at me and fight me, he couldn't; he couldn't because the ship was going to explode, by now the rest of the Klingon crew was panicking that they had no escape pods. Captain Kaol made sure of that. Only a few of the Klingons that understood what the word Death truly meant were sitting in peace, ready to die something close to a warrior's death.

I would be as strong as a Klingon, but still as terrified at a mouse.

"Captain if we do not get to the transporters within the next one point sixth minute the entire Klingon vessel will detonate leaving no survivors." Spock was back to his normal self, at least for now.

It was amazing how getting back his girlfriend could change him so drastically.

"I can hold it off, Get out of here." I never knew how much strength I had until I kicked in a metal electrical cover.

Truth be told I had wanted to look Bad Ass in front of Angel, I didn't think it was going to work, but sure enough I guess God _had _done the solid I had asked for in fifth grade.

I didn't have a knife, so I went with the easier more barbaric way of using my teeth. It was the blue wire; it was _always _the blue wire. The blue wire would throw off one tiny part of the bomb, for a bomb to work, for anything to work, everything, every little piece must work like the well-oiled machine it was designed to be. With enough glitches I could manipulate the time.

At least I hoped that this was correct and my Explosive's professor hadn't been bull-shitting hit way through every lecture.

"Kirk, we have to go!" The Lieutenant took charge, something I hadn't seen since Spock tried to kill me.

"I know you want to save everyone Kirk, but we can't do it this time!" I'm not sure if she meant to say that or if she didn't, but it was the truth, the truth did hurt Kirk.

He almost seemed to go numb, a wonderful response when a ship was going to explode, but like a badly directed film, he went numb, he couldn't speak. He was going to lose, for the first time in his life Kirk was going to lose. Failure didn't suit Kirk in any way. In a way he looked like a confused little boy when his mother had to explain to him when some kids couldn't have what he had. I sighed a little bit, I guess I wouldn't have to wait to see my mother in heaven after all; she would have to wait to see me.

I only looked at my former crew leaving through my peripheral vision and I swear as God is my witness, I have never seen such a beautiful look on a girl's face in my life. Angel Grey was sad, horribly upset because I, the man who had betrayed her was going to die. And as she was pulled out, I couldn't help but stop for a second, just a split second, and tell her, I love her with my eyes, and I did. I'm not sure if she saw me, I like to believe she did.

I'm not sure how long it took them to run to the transporters, but in the pit of my stomach I felt like they wouldn't have enough time no matter how fast they were running. I got worried and I was unfocused and the mother-fucking blue wire wouldn't cut. So I did what every Star Fleet officer was trained to do.

I kicked that Mother shit.

I got up and slammed my foot into it, yelling, and cursing, and screaming, and I just kicked my foot. I kicked my foot because I was mad at the machine, I was mad Angel would never love me, I was mad I was going to die, I was mad at myself for wandering if they had gotten there on time for losing my focus, and I would he _very _mad if I heard Klingon's disrupting them from getting to the transporters.

It's not like they were any use to them, the Enterprise would only beam down something that was matching the genetic codes they had expected to receive; and when they were finally off the ship, I collapsed on the ground on my back, somehow, just somehow God had blessed me and kicking the thing worked, somehow in ways I can't explain.

And like the movie ending I never pictured. I closed my eyes and I took in my last breath and I knew…

It was time to let go.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

We were at warp speed as soon as Kirk set a foot on the ship and I counted the colors of fire as the Klingon ship was destroyed along with the man who had kidnapped, and saved me. I wasn't sure what to feel, or how to express it, for a little bit, I just did what I had wanted to do for such a very long time.

I let go.

(Spock's P.O.V.)

She fainted into his embrace and he swiftly placed her onto a gurney. The good doctor then proceeded to take her away from him as she had been once already. He was held back by the captain and once he was held back, he realized what had truly unfolded once they had abandoned the Klingon vessel.

"The death of Mr. Alexander Grace was not your doing, Captain."

At least for now, Spock would focus his mind on the Captain, something other than his T'hy'la as he had been in such…obsessing over for days now.

"Spock we could have found a way, some way for him to survive." He answered.

"There was not enough time."

"Spock don't give me that Bull-shit you don't care if he's dead! He kidnapped Angel, you hate his fucking guts, and I don't want to hear any of your Vulcan crap, it's the truth, you hate him, but for him to die, we lost him Spock! His death was completely unnecessary!"

One death seemed to trouble the Captain greatly. Though Mr. Grace had a cause to die, an honorable one at that, the Captain was still not satisfied. Anyone, no matter who was important to the Captain. He wanted to bring home each and every crew member alive and well. No Captain and no one was born with a gift of perfection. This could not be achieved. So what the Captain so strived for was not possible, and for a little Spock was lost for words. How would he explain to the Captain when he was in this state that what he wanted could never be achieved?

(Bones' P.O.V.)

She was beaten up on her body pretty badly; her pretty face was alright but the rest of her not so much. She had nasty bruises, burns, and cuts. I healed what I could, and I wrapped the rest, snug and firm. She looked like she hadn't slept a wink in a while at least not without nightmares. So I left her to a peaceful slumber and while at the gist of it she was just another crew member to me, she was also a friend, and a little girl that I couldn't leave all alone after the experiences she must have went through.

While she slept her brain activity was a bit strange. Whatever the Klingons has done to her head it left her exhausted and weak. She would be here for a few days just so I could keep an eye on her. I groaned a little; with her here she would attract the dam Hobgoblin. I was distracted by the fact he had not knocked, not in any sort of way.

"Speak of the Devil…" I muttered.

"She's well I trust." He trusts, of course he trusts, as if I didn't spend my life ensuring I knew every technique on every known medical condition known to man and alien alike.

"Sleeping like a work horse." I responded.

I expected a comment on the analogy but I didn't get one. Instead I got slightly softened eyes and a hesitant and tender hand lightly brushing its way down Angel's wavy black hair. He was embarrassed to be touching Angel around me. What was I going to say to him, well then again… I was me, I wanted to say something, but I didn't. Instead I left without another word to 'Tend to my other patients.' Spock had been worried without Angel with him the entire time. And for now, he could have Angel to have himself, at least for now.

(Spock's P.O.V.)

"Please try to eat." Spock had continuously asked for the now fifth time.

"I'm not hungry." The same answer he had received each time.

"You have not been hungry for the entire course of the day."

"Spock I'll eat, I will…just not now."

"Very well; I must return to the bridge."

"Alright."

"I will return within the course of the next hour." He left her to her thoughts.

For quite some time that was what he was dreading, to leave her alone. She had been open with him with the mental tricks and torture they had performed on her and yet she wasn't open on the exact things she had seen when she had been tortured. He couldn't force her part of him wanted her to forget all of it. He knew she couldn't and as illogical as it was, he still hoped somehow she could.

She hadn't been eating and there were three different reasons why she could not. They were guilt, fear, and depression. Guilt because of Mr. Grace's 'Heroic' death, the fear the Klingons installed in her or the depression of the two combined. This could cause her to be frustrated with herself and be too worried to eat.

He needed to soothe her, and he needed to calm her, but was he suffocating her in the process? He didn't want to give her space. Each time he left her alone, he feared for her, he feared she would be gone again and the next time they would not be as lucky to retrieve her. Luck. Spock for the first time in his existence was questions luck's non-existence. It had been luck that Mr. Grace had tried to right his wrong, or at least it had been something along the terms of luck. Spock was still skeptical.

"She doing alright Spock?" The Captain had been relying on him for knowledge of Angel's condition, he still had not gone to see her himself.

"She hasn't eaten." Spock told the truth, the only thing he could ever tell.

"I'll see if I can bring her some ice cream, I'm sure she'd like that." There were times when the Captain referred to things that Spock did not know about Angel. For this he wandered who truly had a better connection to his beloved.

"_I'll _bring it to her, Jimmy, you're busy playing Captain." She lent him a wink.

Jimmy was not an appropriate name for the Captain during their work shifts, however it seemed the Captain did offer any objections.

"Hurry back Nyota, I'm going to miss looking at you."

"What a charmer." She left and I returned to my position.

(Angel's P.O.V.)

"Have you gotten the Vulcan D yet?" Nyota licked hot fudge from her fingertips.

"No. I'm afraid I haven't gotten the D yet, sorry to disappoint."

It was Christine that let out a groan of annoyance.

"Come on we want to hear some Vulcan D stories!" She grinned mischievously.

I don't know where the innocence in Christine's eyes came from, the things that could tumble from her mouth were everything but innocent.

"A reason to be interested in Spock's penis?" I didn't look up from my bowl of ice cream.

"Well hey, I told you both how big Jim's dick is." Nyota could just as easily let the word dick slip from her mouth as well as the word 'Hi' could come out of her mouth.

"And I've offered my sex information, only fair Angie, oh come on, it's a girl thing!" She justified.

I didn't respond.

"Oh Angie, come on, we're all friends here, you have to tell us!" Nyota pointed her spoon at me in a stern manner.

"I have nothing to tell the only way I've seen Spock's 'D' in anyway is if I look down at the groin of his pants and it's not like he's been quick to whip it out!" I replied a little harshly.

I've never seen a look quite like the one that crossed over Spock in the door way before.

**(The End)**

**Author's Note: I've decided to end it here, I liked the way it ended so this is all!**

Eymris Grayson- Hahaha! I would love to see it if you do draw it!

Fandomenforcer- No need for a thank you, I always wished people would put the translations right next to the words, sorry for the wait for the update.

Guest- The girl's name for the cover of my story is Louise Cliffe. She is an international model, actress and singer; she is English.

Thank you to LadyPhoenixKnight, boredom1013, Gaarakitty, and Carina50 for adding my story to your favorite's list. Also, thank you to Satin Ragdoll for adding my story to your Alert subscription!

**Author's Note 2: I want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, favorite, and followed my story it means the world to me and I look forward to starting another story soon. **

_**Your Obedient Servant,**_

_**A.G.**_


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